A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Help Aunts and Uncles! I dislike speaking about how I feel but I am going to burst if I don't get this out somehow. I am a married man in my late 40s and I do love my wife and we have a 9 year old together. The last few months I can't get another girl out of my head. She is beautiful to look at, curvey, long dark hair and mid to late 20s. She always wears tops that let me see her chest which makes it even harder not to look at her. I know her from work as she lives near my office, I see her all the time. Sometimes she is friendly and chatty towards me others it is as though she avoids me. I think the girl knows she is teasing me and enjoys this. I have never tried it on even though she does give me plenty of hints, but the thoughts are there. What stops me is I do love my family and she always has her toddler with her.I don't want to be attracted to her but here I am sat at home on a Sunday night and I have missed this girl all weekend. Sometimes she gives me signals and then I think I'd love to make my move and get her out of my system. I don't know if she would be shocked if I did or that is what she wants from me. I'm not looking for judgement but this girl is driving me nuts! I have done the avoiding her then my mind goes off to thinking of her. Does this girl know what she is doing to me? What should I do?As I said I love my family but this girl has got under my skin.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): My brother, once you start cheating, you may succeed for few months.You colleague may keep your affair a secrete, but the day she notices that you no longer interested to her she will spill the bins.Trueth be told once you made love with her your desires for her will drop as time goes on.
She will be more interested to you and you won't interested as you will be thinking of the consequences should your wife find out about your a fair.
You will try to run away from your girl fried for months but she will eventually threaten you that she will tell your wife, and you will end up just like me, so I beg you don't do it
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 Get a babysitter for next weekend, book a hotel and take your wife away for a romantic weekend. Find that spark between you both, have a champagne dinner, get candles for the room, run a bath. Remember why you married your wife and fell in love with her in the first place.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2016): Sounds like you just got a crush. I don't think you are a bad person for your thoughts. You know you cannot act on them and it is normal for even married people to have a crush here & there.
I think what helps is to train yourself to go down a different train of thought when these fantasies come up. When you start thinking about her, change your focus to a nice time you had with your wife, or think about something cute your daughter did. Do this for a few weeks and it will start to happen automatically & you will eventually get over your fantasies about this little girl.
Also, you should not to feed the fire by flirting or accepting her flirting with you. Avoid her as much as possible. Stop talking with her. Remove the temptation from your life.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 June 2016):
 Seriously, old man do you think this girl with her child gives you one red hot thought?
do you think she is "doing this" TO YOU?
You are suffering from the middle aged "I'm still hot so she must want me"
and she probably looks at you and thinks "oh what a cute old guy he reminds me of DADDY" or worse "what a creeper the way he stares at me does he think he's HOT or something?"
"she always wears tops that let ME see her chest" emphasis MINE.
how about SHE always wears tops SHE LIKES that she's comfortable in and I"M a dirty old man staring at a young mother hoping and praying she wants to get it on with me and stroke my ego et al"
"does this girl know what she is doing to me?"
OLD Man, THIS young woman is NOT the responsible party for your lust. YOU are. and a MAD crush is fine. go home make love to your wife close your eyes and think of this girl.... that's what she's good for. NOT an ego stroke.
YOU right now have NO respect for her, she's a pretty thing, she's friendly enough but clearly she feels your creepiness as she blanks you sometimes... keep creeping on her and she will blank you full time and maybe call the cops. it depends on how much you stare and salivate...
BTW I am a 56 year old grandma with a 43 yr old husband my term is meant as a wake up call only not an insult but to this young girl you are an OLD MAN. I have lots of guys hit on me... young enough to be my child and old enough to be my dad. It's all very humorous to me.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 June 2016):
"Does this girl know what she is doing to me?"
The better question is...Do you know what you are doing to yourself???
" here I am sat at home on a Sunday night and I have missed this girl all weekend."
Missing someone you DON"T have, and your wife is right there...WOW...You are a very wise man. Awesome...I should do that too....Let my fantasy destroy my marriage and my life...and for what????
"I do love my wife"
Oh really?? PROVE IT !!!
"What stops me is I do love my family"
Oh that's the only thing stopping you?? Oh I see.
How would you like to find out your wife is thinking just like you, about a coworker at her job, or any other man???
You might think...GREAT...because now I free to go after that girl.
But I leave you with this....
"Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later."
"Sensible people are careful to stay out of trouble, but stupid people are careless and act too quickly."
Think long and hard.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2016): Come on! Don't reinforce the ridiculous stereotype that guys all think from their crotch area and can't control our urges! Your larger head holds a brain in it!
Okay, I'm going to give it to you straight. Behave like a married-man and remember you made vows to the mother of your child. You have a little girl at home who looks at you with adoring and trusting eyes. You sleep next to a woman who puts up with all your flaws and imperfections; and trusts you with her heart. If she knew what you were thinking, she'd want to castrate you!
You're getting an itch not worth scratching, and you CAN control yourself. Too many posts come through this site from people claiming they are soooo obsessed over co-workers that they have lost their minds. Well, losing half of what you own, half your assets; and being told by a court order how often you can see your daughter doesn't sound like a good trade-off to me.
Not to mention how your 9 year-old will look at you if you hurt her mother; because you find someone half your age more attractive. So attractive that you'd even take the risk of losing both of them to satisfy an impulse. You're setting an example for her. Molding her perception of what a good man should be. Imagine that young woman at work was your daughter in a few years. How would you feel?
Lets put it bluntly. You should have more control over a rise in your pants, more decency, and control: than an adolescent boy with out-of-control hormones.
You obviously aren't appreciating your wife. If you're that focused on someone else, there is surely an attention deficit where it really belongs. You now find no fulfillment in the woman you've chosen? Do you no longer appreciate the time you've stolen from a woman who could have married another man who can control his hormones, and keep his wandering eyes where a married-man should?
She's not under your skin. You're lusting and showing your worst side. Man-up and tidy-up your act brother. You've got too much on the line. Stop flirting or showing any visible reaction to this girl's attempts to draw attention. You're certainly being watched, and some pissed-off female co-worker will anonymously inform your wife of your
behavior over some flirty young female. Yes, it is more obvious than you realize; because you let your guard down to be receptive to her flirtation. She needs feedback to encourage the inappropriate behavior around a married-man.
In most cases, very young women wear inappropriate attire to the workplace, because they innocently don't know any better. They simply want to look attractive. Not necessarily draw ogles and lecherous advances from older married-men who should know better. Some even set men up for sexual harassment suits or a quick way to advancement.
How's that? Are you thinking with the right head now?
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