A
female
age
30-35,
*sdfg
writes:Quite honestly, I'm still young (18) and am still learning what I like. Nevertheless, based on my friends' experiences and tales (for whatever those are worth lol) I'd consider myself to be fairly kinky, as I'm into bondage and domination. The first guy I was with and I were in sync, as I hadn't found my kinky side yet with him. During my single period thereafter, however, is when I got a better sense of what I liked. Then, I entered an fwb relationship with a guy who was older but who gave me everything I could have ever wanted, and who introduced me to a lot as well. He wasn't afraid to take control, and yet he could please, and I can honestly say I wouldn't be surprised if that month-long period will comprise the best sex I'll ever have...Now, however, I've cut ties with the fwb guy because I'm seeing someone. I don't play games; I'd NEVER cheat and I know what that crap is like. That said, he's not into the kinds of things I'm into. He's not dominant in bed at all, he says, as we've talked about what turns us on and what we like. Right now, I'm telling myself it's no big deal; his love matters more than his tastes in bed, I'm thinking. . . . but for those of you with experience in these kinds of situations, am I in denial? Will this become a problem later, assuming what I like stays the same?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, StrayTogether.com +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Personally, I think that sex and love are both important and one shouldn't have to deny their satisfaction of either for the other.
I've found that most of the men I've dated were willing to try new things that I've asked of them, simply because they want to please me in the bedroom, as I wish to please them. It is a two-way street, after all. Perhaps this is the case with your man.
If he tries it and absolutely hates being dominant, then that would be a problem. If he tries it and it simply isn't his favorite thing, perhaps you could switch off doing whatever he enjoys and then what you enjoy. The key being to communicate and try new things. Frankly, most of the men I've met would love to have a girl like you, willing to express your desires for one and venture into new areas of sexual pleasure for two.
If he's unwilling to even try, then, yes, it's my opinion that, in the long-run, you will become unhappy, as it sounds -- based on your very brief notations here (not all inclusive, I know) -- as though this is an important factor in your relationship. If it weren't why would you bother to bring it up to him and then again here?
Fondly,
Jill
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