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male
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*ungass
writes: I am 52 yrs old and a father of 4. My youngest daughter as been seeing a young man for 3 years.They recently split and whilst they were apart he talked with me on the internet and we met up.I have fallen in love with him and even though i knowthis is a ridiculous situation.I know that he loves me back.we have had sexual intercourse and found it very fullfilling.He still loves her and she him.Please help as i dont know what to do.I dont feel my love is "just a crush"this situation is making me feel suicidal.
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male
reader, gungass +, writes (17 July 2006):
gungass is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMale reader suggests i should leave them to sort it out.One factor that shouldnt escape is the fact that the lad is also a willing participant in the relationship with HerFather. she surely cant hope to rebuild her relationship considering he has also fallin in love with her father.So she cant trust him.
I can only genuinly add that the feeling of love is mutual.
A
male
reader, gungass +, writes (12 July 2006):
gungass is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy 33yr marriage is neither dull, boring, It is certainly lacking.This is because we both lack the desire to have sex.but we are still soulmates.she knew I was Bi when we got together and in the 70,s we were swingers and Possibly,I am homosexual and the boy feels convenient. How can I disagree with that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): The feelings of suicide need to be addressed, please seek help for this.
You are now suffering from serious remorse. Remorse is a feeling telling you that you have done something wrong and you know it.
End it. You also need to be honest with everyone involved.
You let your temptations lead you and rule over your sense of obligation.
Your daughter deserves someone she can trust and rely on and this "crush" of hers does not offer this to her. Let you love for your daughter overrule your own selfish needs, at least in this.
Be honest with yourself and then you will be on a road of peace.
You know what to do, now do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): I disagree with the poster below. Love for the daughter is one issue, and love for the boy is another. They may seem related because the boy and the daughter used to date.
The thing is though, it's possible your marriage (if you have one) is dull, boring, and lacking. Possibly, you are homosexual (which in this case, it seems to be) and the boy feels convenient.
The matter is how do you tell the difference between love and a crush? Please remember readers, age does not dictate a man or a woman's psychological behavior, nor does it represent their mental maturity.
My suggestion on a more moral standpoint is that you allow your daughter to have the chance with the boy, if indeed they still somehow 'love' each other. If I am her father, she will come first to everything - no matter what I feel, desire, and/or need. My life is secondary to her's.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2006): I don't understand how you could do that to your daughter.. any 'love' you feel for this guy could in no way outweigh the love you feel for your daughter. End it.
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