A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is no justification for what I'm about to say so feel free to give me a piece of your mind .I'm a bored 38 year old married woman, mother to a 6 year old . I have an amazing husband and no problems in my marital life. The only problem is that I'm thoroughly bored and looking for some excitement to spice up my exceedingly dull life. I'm currently not working and we live in a small town that I hate, where my husband works in a very specialized, well paying job. I was always used to men fawning over me and I loved the attention but ever since I've been married and had the baby, is just "mom, mom, mom" all day long. I'm so SICK of being the mother and don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to death and am her full-time caregiver and I try to be the best mother possible.... But I crave my past life, if you could call it that.Lately I've reconnected with a much older unmarried man who I knew from my college days. He used to be very flirtatious towards me and I'd blocked him on Facebook because he was very inappropriate. A few days ago I unblocked him and was looking at his profile and I found myself strangely attracted to him. I sent him a friend request which he immediately accepted and added him on WhatsApp. He lives in a different country so I'm not looking to start anything but I guess what I'm looking for is some harmless flirting. So far he isn't saying anything. Please knock some sense into my head. What am I doing? I know that nothing good can come off this!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2022): You are lucky (not ONLY because you have a great man, healthy daughtern and a rather peaceful and comfortable life), but because you are AWARE of how detrimental your boredom is.Most poeple are not that lucky (on both accounts).What you're looking for this man (for whom you said yourself acts inappropriately) can't give you. You're not looking for harmless flirting. You're looking for something else. Purpuse and appreciation. You're problem is that you have based your sense of both on how MEN percieve you. A lot of women do. And once those women lose that kind of attention, they get depressed. And they are faced with two basic choices.You can either desperately try to relive your youth (and fail and be even more miserable) or reevaluate your own sense of purpuse and appreciation. One other thing, I know you say you have a great marriage and I'm sure that in many aspects you do, but your husnad is obviously NOT DOING something you need him to. You only know what that is. Romantic dinners? Weekends alone? Bedroom? Whatever it is, if you don't get it from him, you will either seek it out outside your marriage or be unhappy. But first you yourself need to know what it is!The worst thing you can do is do something stupid and make your husband think how unhappy you are with him... because you never know, maybe he too has a secret crush or longs for his woman to... fill in the blanks. Actually inly he can do that!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2022): You need to get a job, a social life, do some volunteering, find some hobbies etc so you can have time away from just being a mum. You are bored. You need to find other solutions to your boredom than cheating on your husband. You also need to connect more romantically with your husband. Arrange a baby sitter and go on some dates together alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2022): These are the usual excuses and self-indulgences of spoiled and ungrateful spouses who have all the blessings others are dying to have; but too much is never enough.
You want to be fawned over, and all you hear is "mom, mom, mom?!!" God blesses, and He also taketh away!!!
What you've described is the adult-world. You seek love and devotion; and you have to be grateful, if and when, you find it. You work hard to make a good marriage work and last. You get on your knees and thank God for giving you a good-man, a beautiful baby, and a life where you don't have to struggle. You could be alone in a dog-eat-dog world; competing with other women for a commitment-phobic horde of baby-men, who don't want to commit to marriage, or one partner. They avoid and run from anything that requires some self-sacrifice, responsibility, or fidelity. Where having to commit to somebody is like contracting a dreaded disease; and being faithful is a joke! They are more committed and devoted to self-gratification from porn, or randomly humping around like stray mongrel dogs; than giving their hearts to a living breathing human being who wants to love them. Living with a man, as opposed to marrying one; until he gets "bored" and decides to find somebody else. Which amounts to settling, and taking whatever you can get from some immature dude! Being more his mother and housekeeper, than his woman. If he's your husband, he made the commitment, vowing to be with you for the rest of his life...God willing!
Wanting people to fawn over you is silly and childish. You are an adult now; so the fawning goes to your daughter. Guys who used to appeal to your vanities had only one thing in-mind; and they were nothing but greasy bribes and hollow-compliments to loosen you up, and get you on your back! You're in your 30's, and mature enough to know that. If you feel neglected, use your words; and communicate with your husband. Use your idle time to think-up ways to improve your marriage, or recapture what was lost in your relationship. Not go searching for trouble!
If you are bored, get a job; or do some useful volunteer work to help others in need. You hate your town, then work and save enough money to help your husband to afford to find a better place to live. If cheating is on your mind, nothing we could ever say, or suggest, will distract you from that. You don't like being at peace; because you need to taint and smear your life with an adulterous-affair. You want to hurt your husband for nothing.
If it just comes down to wanting to cheat on your family and marriage, because you are bored, wouldn't you say that is a sad commentary about modern-life? Everybody is so selfish and entitled! Even when we've got it made, we get bored and want to do something frivolous and stupid; to cause drama and trouble in an otherwise peaceful and blessed life.
How's that? You just needed us to shake you up; and bring you back to your senses.
Don't mess it up! Bordum comes from having nothing fulfilling and useful to do. Get a job, or volunteer to help others. No matter how much you may hate your town, there are people less fortunate; or other women in distress, that could use a helping-hand from people who care.
If you have a faith-based belief in God, revisit it. Maybe He has a special purpose for you. Since you have so much time on your hands, to sit-around and contemplate on ways to destroy your marriage and good-life. Darkness is always waiting around the corner. The devil seeks to steal, kill, and destroy! You don't know what you've got until it's gone, or have it snatched away from you! Besides, the love you've been given is nothing to trifle with... just because you are bored!!!
You want to be fawned-over. Seriously?!! Read all the responses to your post over and over, until one of them sinks in.
I wish you the best in spite of this foolishness. Temptation comes to us all, nobody here can judge or blame you; because it comes knocking at all our doors. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone!" I surely can't!!! Be strong enough to resist and not open that door! Block that man, it was just a ridiculous impulse. Not today, Satan!!!
Take a long look at your husband and daughter; and imagine what life would be without either of them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2022): As usual, you’re just another selfish and insecure attention seeker.How would you like it if your husband was talking to another woman on his phone because he was bored with you and your boring old life??Lots of women online these days looking to flirt with and fuck a bored married man. Think they don’t have what it takes to turn his head? You’d be wrong!! I turned the head of a married man and had an affair with him. You were the boring mom sitting at home. He came home to you out of duty but he chose to be with me because I took care of all his needs. While you’re busy having meaningless little conversations to boost your pathetic little ego, your husband can also do the same! Ever think he’s just as bored with you???? Cause he probably IS!Why women piss away good men to talk to a scumbag whose willing to even entertain a married woman is beyond me??? This guy isn’t interested in you at all. He just wants some fun and games and thinks you are DESPERATE for attention. He has zero respect for you because you have zero respect for yourself!! Easy target. That’s what you are, and most men will take full advantage of an easy lay! So don’t think you’re special at all honey. You’re just easy and desperate!!! I suggest divorcing your husband instead of using him for his money and to support you and his child while you fuck around on the side!!!That’s so cruel! You are hurting him deliberately! Where is your conscience???!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (25 September 2022):
 I agree with Honeypie, you sound like a teenager, not a married woman in your 30's.
I think you need a reality check, you are married, you have a child, you have a family life which as we all know is not always sunshine and rainbows, but equally a beautiful thing.
You need to abolish these feelings of looking for fun somewhere else, because what you may think is harmless fun could spell the end of your marriage if things materialised.
How would you feel if behind your back you found out your husband was bored and was looking to flirt with someone he went to college with years ago?. My guess is you would be not to pleased, and rather disappointed.
Delete the guy you just friend requested and block him again. Don't go down the road of flirting with other men because things will happen and there will be no happy ending.
Save yourself tears and heartache and put your energies into your marriage.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2022):
 " I know that nothing good can come off this!"
So you understand reality but you want to live some fantasy out because it would make YOU feel good, temporarily.
FIND a job, your kiddo is old enough for a school so you CAN do a part-time job if you want to. Or find a HOBBY! That doesn't involve other men's attention.
If you are BORED it's UP to you to figure out what will fulfill you that doesn't involve OTHER men or attention from strangers.
There is NO such thing as " harmless flirting" when you are MARRIED. That is not what being a wife or spouse is about. And you know it.
Wake up. Smell the coffee and grow the heck up.
If you don't want to be a mother and wife, divorce your husband and give him full custody. It might frig up your kid.. but would you care?
You are in your 30's!! You sound like a teenager.
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