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male
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I have been going strong for about a year and a half now. We've had a few arguements, but what couple hasn't? Last night though, we had a really big fight, during which we both said things we didn't mean, and hurt each other pretty badly. We're back together now, but I just want to stop hurting her. I know I can be a bit hotheaded at times, but is there anything I can do to stop taking it out on her? It's never even her fault, and it's not fair that I keep doing this to her. I need some advice, please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bella55  +, writes (9 March 2007):
Are you by any chance, Spanish, Italian or Greek? Most mediteranean people have this very hot temper and stubborness. Its in our blood and very hard to control. We are very open people and like to confront the situation. Get it all out and half an hour passed youre fine and relaxed, but by then youve hurt the person you took it out on. My poor boyfriend can tell you a couple of stories. Its in our blood, our veins carry that hot fiesty blood, and we are the most passionate poeple too!!
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Take anger management course. Unless you can better control your emotions, you may end up losing this person.
Nobody sane wants to be a punch bag.
If you both said things to hurt each other then you both should learn how to communicate with each other to avoid this verbal abuse situation.
Admitting you have a proble is the first step, next step is to have plan of action, third step is to do something about it.
Good luck
Angel of Love
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You can choose how you react in every situation. You apparently choose to get angry and blame your girlfriend. The next time you start feeling like you want to bust loose, take a walk outside and count to 100. Ask yourself what it is you are angry about, and if there's a solution to the problem that doesn't involve getting angry. If you're just trying to control/dominate your girlfriend with your behavior, you need to ask yourself why. Your own insecurities maybe?
If you can't control your anger, she'll soon wise up and move on. Anger management classes might help.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody else so THINK before you speak, be aware that you're getting irritated, angry etc and THINK. She must have the patience of a saint and really love you to continually put up with it but even she has her limits.
The good thing is you realise there's a problem, now all you need to do is control it. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK in future.
Eve
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