A
male
age
51-59,
*ichard.S
writes:I posted an earlier question about losing my virginity to an escort agency because i have never had sex or been on a date. Many thanks for the responses!! Someone answered that i couldn't possibly be so ugly, well you don't get to be 44 and not dated if you are not ugly. I also look 20 years younger than my age which doesn't help....a Ralph Macchio lookalike. Basically i have been laughed at, ridiculed, abused since the age of 14. Women have always ignored me and openly called me ugly. I have plenty of interests including languages, history, country pubs, sports, gym, reading, walking, cookery, tv, films etc etc.I work full-time in a busy, active job. Admittedly i find it difficult in one on one conversations (male or female) and there is no way i could go to a bar and start a conversation with a woman. I would be shaking with fear.Which brings me on to the use of an escort for first time sex...i found a place and have booked an appointment a month down the line. Which was hard enough to do anyway but now i have to go through with it. Not sure what to do when i get there but i have always wanted to touch a naked woman all over and kiss her entire body. Will i be able to do that? My physique? I guess i'm around 5ft9 and 165lbs. Have tried plenty of gym stuff in the past but have a slim build. As i posted i look like a version of US actor Ralph Macchio (karate kid)
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male
reader, Richard.S +, writes (18 July 2012):
Richard.S is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm re-joining a gym next month and will be setting some fitness goals.
And perhaps a month after that a nerve racking call to an escort agency for an in-call. Not sure what to expect when i go and what she will think of me but it's a new experience. I don't know how i am going to relax there though.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): I won't bullshit you, I agree that some guys are just too ugly to get women. It happens. But I don't think you sound so terrible from your self description. Ralph Macchio, 5'9" and 165 lbs, and look much younger than 44? Its not ideal but you shouldn't be having THAT much trouble getting a woman. There are guys much shorter than you and 100 lbs fatter who still get a girlfriend. The fact that you are scared of talking to a woman 1-on-1 suggests you have troubles other than just the looks. Maybe your looks are a problem but I wonder if you are making too much of it based on your past experiences. You sound like a textbook example of the kind of "little wimp" who has a terrible time (from both guys and girls) when he is 10-25yo but eventually ends up being a decent looking adult after that.
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A
male
reader, Richard.S +, writes (16 July 2012):
Richard.S is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm too old and too nervous to go to bars/singles clubs because i have had a lifetime of listening to comments from idiots (and that is what they are) about being ugly. I have had women pretend to do other things than talk to me....for example get a mobile phone out or talk to someone else. My appearance unsettles women but i just consider myself as courteous, shy and quiet. I used to do various classes years ago but there is no way i can transform myself into even an average looking guy. Basically i am ugly and you cannot change that through gyms/grooming/styling etc. I have seen how it all works in social situations. Women are only interested in men with looks/physique/cheekbones. These guys are the ones who have sex on tap and women flock to them. I'm not stupid and understand this. I on the other hand have absolutely no looks and have never even kissed a woman, let alone date. Yes i am that bad. When i visit the escort i might ask her for some advice if possible.
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A
male
reader, Richard.S +, writes (16 July 2012):
Richard.S is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm in England and the cops are not an issue here!! I have found a respectable seeming escort agency and have the number written down. It is going to take guts to even phone up let alone go. I reckon about a months time is ok. Going to book 2 hours and see what happens (if anything). I think nerves will take over depending on the escort herself. I have no experience at all.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (15 July 2012):
 Better yet, Richard, approach that average-looking woman and say something "positive." "Nice weather today," or "Excuse me young lady, but I must say, that's a very nice outfit you're wearing." It doesn't matter much what you say if positive, especially about her. Say any damn thing! But have a sense of humor about it.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (15 July 2012):
As we say in Texas: Bullshit!
What more can I say to you than, "Just go screw a fat, ugly girl if that's what it takes to get you over the hump?" Damn it man, I've screwed a few, and some of them "begged" me for the attention. Plain women may sit around acting like they have the "world on a string," but you have to understand that: All you have to do is show some attention. Be sweet, smile, just say something about the damned weather, or how crappy the current U.S. president is treating the world!
Mire in your hole if you must, and savor your misgivings, or be a man and give life a go!
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A
male
reader, Richard.S +, writes (15 July 2012):
Richard.S is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBeing laughed at and ridiculed for 30yrs isn't fun believe me. I haven't got a clue where to go from here, too old for clubs and bars, no sexual experience, no response from internet sites. Looking at it from a matter of fact viewpoint i actually have nothing left to look forward to except death itself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): Congratulations to you on lasting until 44.
I was merely 19 (seemed ancient to me at the time to be a virgin) before I stuck my hand in my wallet and paid a member of the asexual gender to end my misery. And I'm gorgeous!
Women just aren't like us. If you can't be bothered with the fake romance and the massive financial outlay in order to get a 'civilian' girl to go with you, just hire a pro, it's a lot less complicated.
Btw speaking as one with massive experience of hookers, I can tell you the difference between a good whore and a bad one is night and day. If you go to a parlour, pick the one who smiles at you over any other, regardless of her level of attractiveness. I guarantee she'll give you a better experience.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): Please look into finding a therapist who specializes in helping people who inexperienced when it comes to intimacy.
Instead of an escort, you should consider therapy that includes someone trained to be a sexual surrogate. The website: surrogatetherapy.org/ has more information about this type of therapy and what you can gain if you choose this route.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2012):
 If you do go through with it just be honest with her as far as the virginity stuff and make SURE you ask upfront if sex is possible or not. (not sure if you asked the agency)
And also, I'm not sure about the laws for escorts i the UK, but... it might actually not be legal to proposition an escort. So be aware of the legal ramifications that can occur.
If she will not/can not engage in sex, maybe you can work on your social skill with her? Get the BF/GF experience so to speak.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (14 July 2012):
While I have no knowledge about what you will be allowed to do with an escort (never tried that), I cannot condemn your decision. If you are an adult male (as indicated), it is my opinion that you can and should be able to make a financial arrangement for sexual favors, providing no physical harm is involved. In most all of America, however, both parties would be in violation of various state laws. I don't know about British laws regarding such activities. Nevertheless, it reportedly goes on all the time.
My suggestion for you must note that there are also many "less than attractive" women out there, who also may be shy and lonely. Look around you. The world is predominately populated with average-looking, and also unattractive couples, who somehow find each other and mate. Most every man can be, and usually is, nervous and uncomfortable when meeting and courting a woman - but a woman is just a person. Some or many may reject you, but someone will welcome you. She may not be the prettiest, but she needs love too.
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