A
female
age
41-50,
*ylie25
writes:Hello. I am a 25 year old girl who is completely infatuated with a 60 year old man. Why? He is just so adorable, charming, and very attractive. I work with him, and at first did not care to be in his company because he is so uptight, anal, and moderately obsessive compulsive. He is very particular with the way things should be done, and I am not typically a submissive person, but I remained very calm and cool around him, nodding my head in agreement, and just letting him have his way, not because I liked him but to maintain harmony in the work place because I don’t believe in burning bridges at work (I’m ambitious and have my eyes on the prize). After a while, I noticed he started to relax a lot, and seemed happier to see me. He would vent and bitch to me about what annoys him, how things should be, how people are incompetent, and blah blah blah. I'd just listen while refraining from giving my real opinions because I am quite an opinionated girl but how I am outside of work and how I am at work are completely different, it is like night and day. After a while, I noticed he was less anal, and I felt more comfortable being myself, I could push back and have him see it my way at times. I’d crack a lot of jokes, because I am a funny and playful character. I made him laugh and smile, and seen some facial expressions I’ve never seen on his face before. I’d also smile a lot, which I do in general but I mean a constant cheese. Once I started being myself, I felt we had a connection that was never there before, and then I started looking forward to seeing him. The weekend would go by, and on Mondays he would tell me he missed me and compliment me often. I still was unsure about his attraction to me because of a few reasons, 1) I thought maybe he thought it was what females in general like to hear, and maybe him and I were just genuine friends, 2-or) After we became friends, and disclosed more information about ourselves he would make reference to attraction to other women. I think he was testing me, that was my first instinct, but I am very indecisive because I can only assume, how do I really know? I don't :) Nobody ever does with these things...insecurity kicks it da da da. He sees I am a desirable girl, because a lot of guys at work flirt with me, and he is there to witness it, but he never flirts with me. His eyes do light up at times but maybe its just because I think his eyes are beautiful hehe. He doesn't do what typical guys do when they flirt, you know how they try to be around you, and do the chasing, they usually try to act macho by saying something that sounds impressive or cool, and it is so obvious for many other reasons than that but let me not stray from the original subject lol. Anyway, he would usually wait for me to come to him but often tell me to come back later, or visit him at lunch he wants to tell me something that’s been bothering him. He said I have a calming effect on him, and I remind him of his ex-wife. However, one day he was eating lunch with his co-workers and I went up to him and said hi. He said hi then ignored me and continued talking to his friends as if he was embarrassed of me. I walked away and did not see him for a week because I work in different sections at work and was deliberately trying to avoid him due to being a bit hurt. I don’t see him everyday unless I go out of my way to. Which I often do, and BRING HIM COFFEE OMG I’M SO SPRUNG.He always offers me food he's eating, and one day offered to buy me a burger, which I thought was funny because I don’t eat burgers, and I refused because I also don’t like people spending money on me unless they are my official man. I feel like it is taking advantage. One day he was talking about peoples birthdays then asked mine, and knew what sign I was (Scorpio), and told me his (Taurus) and then it had me thinking he was talking about birthdays to work up to that question. He has never pried in asking me questions too personal, like do I have a boyfriend, or am I married. Usually guys do that even if it is subtle like “I’m sure your husband hates your hours”…hoping I’d say, “husband? Oh I’m single!” Anyway, he has my number which I offered him, but lied and said only call if it is an emergency, in relation to work (bullshit), and one day I went to see him in his office but missed him. I guess someone told him I was there, and so he called me and said "sorry I missed you, have a good night sweetie." Even though he said that, maybe he sees me as like a kid who is just delightful? I mean I am 25, and he is 60. Maybe he feels guilty and disgusting for being attracted to me but its funny because I’ve had some pretty dirty fantasies about him, even masturbated to it once. Maybe he has not made any moves because he thinks that someone young, successful, and cute is not in the least bit interested. How can he not know? I bring him coffee often just because, and am very submissive with his commands…its weird because I am not typically that way and never have been but I really like making him happy, yet at the same time we have discussions and we argue, and I make some pretty valid arguments and win sometimes, so he sees that I have a argumentive, rebellious, and deviant side. I am definitely a goal driven girl that won't let anyone get in the way of my success. One day I was telling him he’d have a panic attack if he seen my car (because it is so messy) and he is a little OCD, everything is perfectly aligned on his desk, the drawers are perfectly organized. It is actually very weird because I don’t know how a person becomes like that, maybe because he is a veteran lol. Anyway, he said that is what he likes about me, that not much bothers me and that opposites attract. I brushed it off and changed the subject because I didn’t know if I should take that in a flirtatious way or not. If he was flirting, he probably felt dumb for it because I pretended to not hear that. So…what’s up? Does this guy like me? How can I find out without directly asking him or directly letting him know I like him? The biggest reason why I feel he does not is because he has made comments about a co workers body and how she has a really nice one. He never said anything about my body ever. Why? I mean maybe because he is not attracted to my body? Another time he was watching TV and said "that’s my girlfriend" (some hot chick). I said "I don't know who you are talking about" and he said "the girl on tv just now". I said "oh, cool" and he smiled saying "just kidding." Was he testing to me to see if I’d get jealous? Jerk. I got mad because that’s a horrible expense at my cost. I did get jealous btw, so I tried to play it casual and told him my break is over, I had to get back to work, and I'd see him later. For a 60 year old guy, if that was the case you’d be pretty surprised to know that men never grow up. SO……what do you guys/gals think? Am I just a sweet asset at work, or is he interested?
View related questions:
ambition, at work, co-worker, ex-wife, flirt, his ex, I work with, jealous, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Creative  +, writes (28 October 2008):
How big a part does the dom/sub thing feature in your attraction/fantasy?
If it's a big part, you could start doing things to highlight you like that role (e.g. sub) in your work.
Why don't you just ask him out on a date? Or are you enjoying flirting with each other?
It is often the case that we look to other people who make up those undeveloped aspects of ourselves, and by being with them, we can become who we are not. What kind of person do you want to become?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Well try to figure out some things he would like to see.. movies, theater and such and then one day get bold and invite him! Remember though that he does seem uncomfortable with you around colleagues so unless he shows signs of getting interested and you change work then I don't see it happening. I don't think he will marry you if you work at the same place as he seems to be aware that the age difference makes him uncomfortable at least at work. So maybe invite him out and at some point let him know that if the relationship did continue you would prefer to wok elsewhere.
...............................
|
