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female
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*onna83
writes: hi i am nearly 7 months pregnant i am 22 and my boyfriend is 33 he has 2 kids by a previous partner and this is my first i was told at 16 that i would unlikely concieve naturally but i did and i am now excited my problem is that at first my boyfriend told me he didnt want anymore kids which was fine with me i had excepted no kids i was to get blood tests to check my hormone levels and be put on the IVF list 3 yr wait kinda thing he knew i came of the pill i offered him condoms to use he refused themi then found out i was pregnant he promised to support me i have not had a good pregnancy, bleeding and urin infections one thing on top of another my problem is that last week i felt that i couldnt cope and tryed to talk to him about it i told him that i sometimes wish i hadnt kept it and i could cope with it as i dont feel like i had his support i didnt mean really mean it it was a mix of hormones and fear he did not support me again and instead went out drinking with his mates as i was in hospital with another urinary tract infection but i forgave him againbut the other night he had a drink and told me didnt want this baby and i trapped him he didnt know if he could love it and all that crap how he told me i should have went back on the pill it was all my fault yet he is the one with no problems with fertility and i am i offered him protection he refused and its all my fault of course once he sobered up he was so sorry the next day they thought my waters broke thank god it was just another urine infection but where do i go from here? he tells me he loves me but how can he when he gives me so much stress my family think he is using me and knows how much i love hime but wot do i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): sometimes there is really a man dont want to have a baby anymore.they dont want anymore responsability which as you said he already had from the first partner. but he should also understand that this is your first baby' he should understand that its not fair that he have already his kid before then you are not allowed anymore to have a baby by your self just for the sake of his own wish.i think its better for you to stand it alone by your self, youll never know' but maybe when the baby came and if he see the baby maybe he'll change his mind.or if not' then forget about him and focus your self in your baby... you can manage it for sure my dear... good luck.. XXX gladyz...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): I think at his age his attitude is disgusting!!
Already he has two children and is just as responsible for avoiding pregnancy as you are.
Sounds to me like most men once your of child they think they have control of you.
Try to live your life for you and your child without relying on him on be happy.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 I was the same as you, I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally although I did continue to take the pill I fell pregnant, at the time I found out I was no longer with the father and on telling him he blamed me because of course it had to be my fault as I was the one carrying the baby even though he had many an oppotunity to use his own protection at any point but refused to do so, my ex wanted me to get rid of my baby but I decided to carry on with my pregnancy as I am a great believer that things happen for a reason and the fact I was told I wouldn't conceive naturally I wasn't going to throw my maybe one chance away, he supported me for the first few months and then I felt like I was always contacting him to update him on what was happening, I spent alot of my pregnancy feeling down wondering if I had made the right decision and panicing on how I was going to manage to do this especially on my own I also spent alot of my pregnancy in hospital due to alot of medical problems which made me worry that I was stupid to think I could do this and the father choose not to come with me or even ask me how I got on when he knew I was out of hospital therefore I stopped bothering to keep chasing him with the information and updates, I've now had my baby he is 7 months old and the father is completely out of the picture I haven't heard from him since just after I had the baby and that was only because I contacted him to tell him that I had but I can say 1000000000% I am glad I went through with my pregnancy and I have never been happier, I do feel for my baby not having the father around a father that never wants to know but I know that it's better that he isn't around at all than keep flitting in and out of my babies life letting him down all the time.
So what I'm trying to say is although things may seem tough and at points really do get tough it does get easier and worth every single moment of it, I'm living proof of that, everyday I look at my baby and realise that I am so lucky to be blessed with a baby I never thought I could have, you really need to start thinking about what is best for you and your baby if that means walking away from your boyfriend then thats what you need to do, it is definatly better to be a single mother bringing up a baby than to be in a relationship with someone that may only be with you because he feels duty bound to as you have his baby, at least maybe walking away might wake him up to what he really wants whether thats you or not only time will tell and if it is you then maybe he might come back with a real atempt to put everything into making you and him work and making the best family stability for your unborn baby.
Good luck I hope everything works out for the best.
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