A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i really need some advice,im 7months preg for a man that i have been on and off with the last 4years..we were never serious with each other,u might aswel say it was just for fun!!he will be around for his baby thank god..but i just feel lost at the moment,i dont no wat its goin to be like when the baby is born?it really scare's me!!is this normal to feel like this?i know im goin to love my baby and i cant wait to meet him...my family have been so great to me so i am gettin help!!but i dont no if ill be able to cope????? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Okay, for now you need to try and relax; yes, it is normal to think about the future; but try and not spend to much time on that or worrying about that; your unborn baby is sensing all your stress and all your emotions; you don't want this little baby to be "difficult" as people so easily refer to it or oh I can list a few more; unfortunately a lot of it is ultimately due to the stress and emotional turmoil the mother went through whilst pregnant;
I suggest if at all possible, TALK to the father of the baby; try and get some clearity as to how he feels; how does he see himself fit in; how does he want to be part;
A good heart to heart chat; explaining to him how you feel; all your concerns; and raising the above questions will give you some perspective;
HOWEVER
I do URGE you not to make any decisions NOW; you are emotional; your hormones are not normal; think about everything and wait untill after the baby is born, before you make any major decisions about your future;
I suggest, you really try and relax; and enjoy the life growing inside you; talk to your baby; and prepare for your baby;
Try to concentrate on yourself and yur unborn baby; have the TALK; if you feel up to it; get perspective and then RELAX;
Best wishes; hey, keep us posdted on the little one!
Oh, and never forget: my secret in life: keep "smiling"
God bless!
A
female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 A father won't actually become a father untill after the baby has arrived. But a mother becomes a mother as soon as the baby is concieved. It is normal to worry about the future, in fact, it's a good thing! If he isnt serious about you and the baby, it would be a good ides to have direction as far as what you will do once baby is here, with or without him. You are doing the right thing by being concerned. Do you want to be serious with him? Have you discussed these feelings with him? Perhaps having a sit down with him and explaining your thoughts on this baby's future would be a good idea. Good luck, hon, and congads on your little one!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): Your fears are natural - and I think that with good support you will do just fine! I know that you will see some mothers out there who will look all perfect and calm, but remember, they are like ducks - all smoothly gliding along on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath! Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it, do your best to make sure that the daddy play his part and go with the flow. You will get there in the end.
Finally, if you think it will help, why not see if you can find a mother and baby internet forum/real life group where you can share experiences, ask for advice, and meet other mums and mums-to-be who are going through the same things as you.
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