A
female
age
51-59,
*ovesky
writes:I am 43 and started seeing someone who was 23. When i met him he was sharing a house with 2 other guys and was basically "single." To be honest, I didnt really care if or who he was dating, because I never intended to get involved with him. We started out having sex here and there, but he did his own thing, and I did mine. He had a 4 month old son, and I knew that he still had an on-and-off relationship with the mother. Well, as time went by, we just kept seeing each other and it started to be more than sex. Well, in between this time, he gets his 24 year old mother of his child pregnant. She knew that he was starting to see someone. that was a year ago. The 2nd baby was just born, we still continue to see each other and now he says he loves me, and is moving out next month. I love him too, but I feel guilty, as if Im breaking up a young family. he is an excellent father and is there for his children, but it just makes me feel bad, but we dont want to stop seeing each other.. He says he is an adult and that they had problems before I came into the picture... What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): He has a lot of responsibility for a 23 year old. Even without the complications I would urge caution. He's so young, has so much going on in his life and his partner and children need his full focus, especially when the baby is so young. And there's also you. Do you really want or need to be involved in this? There are plenty of men out there, young or older who don't have all of these complications. I hope it all goes well whatever decision you make but please for everyone's sake thing logically and rationally rather than emotionally.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): I'm 30, my partner is 22. I have had so much stick from it...funny thing is, he looks 30, I look 22! Honestly! Age does not matter.... My boyf, his on a fortune, owns lovely flat, settled in job... Me I'm now recently jobless, and homeless as gotta move out my flat in a month. Yes I'm sure find job in few months and I'll find house share. Point I'm making is his the mature, settled one. I'm the jobless, unsettled one....
Now you see, to hear our age gap one assumes it's the other way round, or looking at me, as i dress well and attractive they think... What's wrong with you?! My parents were horrified i was dating a child (dads words) even said boyf at first was like I don't go for older women. Obviously that changed. We met, we has casual sex, I fall for him, his like it's just sex. Year later were in love and together. Nothing else matters. Cliche but age is number that's all and re the kids and ex. It's his decision... His grown up and mature enough to know what he wants. Good luck! Enjoy xxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 April 2011):
 you will not get any complaints from me...
he is an adult and his relationship with his babies mom is not working out. you are not the cause of the end of the realtionship, perhaps the catalyst but not the cause.
as for the age gap... my bf (who was the catalyst in the breakup of my marriage) is over 13 years younger than I am... I'm 51 and he's 37 (soon to be 38) and we are just fine and dandy.
just be aware that if he's such a good daddy and you guys end up together you will possibly have a LOT of time with two tiny little babies for many years. Think long and hard how you feel about that.... I know that at 43 my kids were nearly grown and the idea of babies was not as pleasing to me....
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