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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: How can I find a boyfriend? I'm not a kid - I'm a 40 year old woman! I was married young and very inexperienced. I was hurt very badly by my ex and had virtually no sex life, but stayed together with him for a long time. So I've no idea how to date. Now I've been single for a few years but never been out with another guy. Everyone my age seems either married or plain weird. Not looking for a big commitment - just fun, going out + maybe sex and see what happens. How can I meet someone nice without embarassing myself?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Why don't you join a dating agency with a few to not meeting anyone. Yes that sounds daft. But go out with the view that you are just meeting blokes for the whole social scene then you won't be disappointed. Don't come over to them as desperate, just be very casual. Arrange to meet them for a drink. On that night make sure you meet somewhere where there are lots of people. Never at each others house or at somewhere secluded. Go out and have a social night out. Pay your half for the night. Then if he turns out to be naff, go hope and text or email him and say NO THANK YOU. Dead easy. If you do like him and he likes you then go for it.
Take care, it's not that bad.
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Why don't you join a dating agency with a few to not meeting anyone. Yes that sounds daft. But go out with the view that you are just meeting blokes for the whole social scene then you won't be disappointed. Don't come over to them as desperate, just be very casual. Arrange to meet them for a drink. On that night make sure you meet somewhere where there are lots of people. Never at each others house or at somewhere secluded. Go out and have a social night out. Pay your half for the night. Then if he turns out to be naff, go hope and text or email him and say NO THANK YOU. Dead easy. If you do like him and he likes you then go for it.
Take care, it's not that bad.
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Hello, I have just found a lovely guy over the internet, after not dating for years, it all comes back to you very fast. People think that only loosers go on the net to find a bloke, but its not true, there are some normal people out there, I promise. You can find serious relationships and people to have a bit of fun with, and its is great fun.
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A
female
reader, TDMB  +, writes (12 January 2007):
 Hi there, I'm 39 and also single so I understand totally! I got divorced when I was 32 and even then found it hard to meet guys excepy through work and that's always complicated. I ended up having an affair with a married man for two years but got my act together after that.
Internet dating is definitely the way to go. It's great! I've been doing it for years and have had a 2.5 year relationship and then a 4 month one from dating sites and altough they are both over now, they were great. You also get to meet loads of really interesting guys and some just become friends. There is always the odd disaster though! But you can minimise this. There are a few basic rules I've learned over the years which are:
Always see more than one photo (anyone can look good in one pic!)
Always chat on the phone at least once before you meet, but don't fall into the trap of just becoming a 'phone friend' and never meeting, which can happen.
Always meet somewhere public and only ever agree to just a drink first, you don't want to be stuck in the middle of dinner wondering if the loo window is big enough to squeeze through!
Not sure where you are based but if it's the US then yes, Match.com seems to be a good one. I'm in the UK and can recommend various other sites if that's where you are, just let me know. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): Hi, first off there is no need to be embarassed about wanting to date and meet a nice guy at 40.
It feels a little awkward at first going out on a date, but it felt awkward at 20 sometimes too.
Posting your photo and bio on dating web sites like match.com (if you live in the US) is a great way to get back in the game....you will most likely go on a lot of first dates that don't lead to a second, but if you don't let that discorage you, it can be a great way to practice and meet a few nice people.
Otherwise, joing a churc and participating in their singles group is good, you need to meet both women and men and don't hesitate to ask these people who become your friends and acquaintences if they know anyone for you, or if they can set you up.
Most cities in the US have 10 minute date nights where you pay a fee and you go on numerous 10 min dates...I haven't tried it, but I have heard of some people having success with it....when you do these things and get out there you will find that there are a whole lot of older adults in the same boat as you are....so don't waste time being afraid of feeling stupid or embarassed.
Join a gym and get back into shape, you are going to need energy to keep up with all of those dates you are going to go on!
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