A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Sorry in advance for the essay but I really need to know how to cope with my situations.My ex and I met online nearly 2 years ago, neither of us wanted a serious relationship but we ended up falling in love anyway, we got engaged and he moved to the other side of the country for a work placement for a year, we got on great and seen each other at weekends.Just before he was due to come back and we were moving in together we found out that I'm pregnant. None of us wanted this but I couldn't go through with an abortion. I didn't tell him at first because I wanted him to have a nice weekend which he'd planned with his friends, but I told him at the end of the weekend and gave him the chance to walk away if he wanted to, on the condition that he would not string me along. He chose to stick around and a couple of months later we moved in together. I was over an hour away from any friends and family but he went out clubbing with his university friends every week. At 5 months pregnant I lost my job and found myself in the flat alone all day and all night when he went out, he was doing sports most evenings so I was without him nearly every night. On his nights out he would come back at 4am and wake me up to let him in, we argued a couple of times about it until I got fed up and moved home with my mum. I was sick of being alone and pregnant, also he showed no interest in the pregnancy but we were still having sex and kissing and cuddling. When I moved back home he took it really personally and I told him I didn't want to split up, just live seperately while he's at uni. He came to see me and all was okay, until a few days later he was being really off with me via text, I let it go until he didn't turn up to a midwife appointment and just made excuses instead. I had a go at him and he split up with me, he said that he loves me but our relationship isn't working. I've not said anything else to him apart from when he text asking if I need anything for the baby, and asked me to take down our joint Facebook account.I don't know what to do, I'm 31 weeks pregnant I love him with all my heart, he has been so loving and attentive but he changed when he got back to university. Please can someone tell me how I can get over this? I'm sad all the time :(.Thanks
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 December 2014):
 The break up wasn't something you did or because you moved back with mom. He loves you, you are a good person but he is not going to give up his sports and his friends which are more of a priority. He realizes to become a family he has needs to be responsible full time. Before he was interested because you gave him the freedom to be with his friends. When baby comes along all that freedom is gone. For most people love is a comittment. I think for him it is a good feeling, a little dip here and there and then he gets to live his own life.
It is hard to get over the thought that you probably don't have an intact family, a loving attentive father for your child but realize a lot of single moms did it and some are successful. Your child thanks you for being brave and give it a chance for life. Bond with your baby. Without the father there you can spoil your child and give your wholesome attention.
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