A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I love two men. One of the most complicated things that ever happened to me. Ive been struggling with this for almost a year. I have been living a double life, because they dont know about each other really. One has been my boyfriend for 6 years he is wonderful but something was missing so i stepped out to explore a little and i met man #2. He is great but has alot of faults. He doesnt work, possessive, a homebody. I know those who are reading this are like well helloo!! but its not that black and white. We have a really great connection on other levels. I just dont know what to do. I am 24 and in grad school, hes older hes 28...anyone have alittle insight that can take me out of a nightmare that i cry over every day???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): Ciao.
I understand completely what you are going through right now because I am in a very similar situation.
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now (since I was 15) and just recently (the last year or so) I have felt unsatisfied. We moved in together about 9 months ago, but things only seemed to get worse. Meanwhile, there has been a guy friend of mine that I have always liked..
I have been seeing this guy a lot lately and really like him too because I think he fills the voids that I have with my boyfriend.
The problem is that I AM enjoying myself being with this friend, but I do not want to lose my boyfriend. I have always seen him in my future, and I'm scared to think of the possibility that he won't be...
A
female
reader, xx-miss-cupid-xx  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Hey x
You have 2 options here...you can either walk away from both so you don't need to choose. Or you CAN choose. Guy #2 sounds not so nice from the faults you listed.
I personally don't think you should throw away your 6 year relationship for another man who has lots of faults.
Saying that though, if you have started a relationship with this new man, then maybe it is time to move on. I can sense that you possibly weren't as satisfied as you were in the earlier days with guy #1.
Follow your heart...it's up to you what you do.
Good luck whatever you decide
Cara -x-
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): Why don't you walk away from them both. That way you don't have to choose either and live in wondering what the other one would of been like.
But don't string the two along any longer, someone will get burnt and it will be you.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (19 January 2007):
 If you cant be honest with them... at least be honest with yourself! What do you really want ? At this stage I dont feel it is either man...
Perhaps your scared of not having either ? Scared of letting 6 years go but at the same time dont want it, so checked for a greener grass.. You have to face up that you cant have both.. its not fair on anyone of you.... Im not saying its easy, but maybe you need to fess up all this to both guys and see what happens ? Then maybe the choice will be made for you and you can take the route thereafter that best suits you ?
yeah okay maybe that wouldnt work but its something to consider.. the only other thing is to really think long and hard about what you really want... Is it A or B ? Or neither ? The longer you carry this on the harder it will get until you are at a point where you really cant change it... stop living the lie ... be strong and make the choice... you have to ... or else the crying everyday isnt gonna stop... what do you want for your future and which guy can give you that ? no one is 100 per cent perfect, but we learn to accomadate and expand... this comes down to you.. not the guys... what is it that you really want and what path do YOU want to take...
Yes there will be heartache and tears and pain and so on, but this can all be dealt with in time, but the key thing is, there are two guys out there oblivous, they are both waiting as a ticking time bomb, at some point one of them or maybe both are gonna be let down, have a heart and set them free, the longer they are in it the harder it will be for them to move on. At some point you are going to have to tell all, these guys have a life too, let them live theirs and give them a chance to.
Good luck x x
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A
female
reader, eternalleroze  +, writes (19 January 2007):
 hi there ,
you are 24 , so i think u hv to be strong and take a decison. it guy no.1 doesnt satisfy u in all levels and you cant bear it , then leave him.. and look for another fulfilling relationship.
guy no. 2 sounds and feels like u r not satisfied with him either ... however i have 2 things to say here:
- no one is perfect , you have to compromise in something or the other , i am sure you are not perfect either?
- standing in the lake with one leg in one boat and the other leg in another boat just ensures a deep splash into water - in clearer terms you dont hurt anyone more than yourself.
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A
female
reader, eternalleroze +, writes (19 January 2007):
hi there ,
you are 24 , so i think u hv to be strong and take a decison. it guy no.1 doesnt satisfy u in all levels and you cant bear it , then leave him.. and look for another fulfilling relationship.
guy no. 2 sounds and feels like u r not satisfied with him either ... however i have 2 things to say here:
- no one is perfect , you have to compromise in something or the other , i am sure you are not perfect either?
- standing in the lake with one leg in one boat and the other leg in another boat just ensures a deep splash into water - in clearer terms you dont hurt anyone more than yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): I guess there really is no insight to such a delima,myself knws the feeling of this. You just have to strap up the boots and decide man one or man two.
Which one will make you happier,which one best fits you and you can deal with over long periods of time.I know easier said then done,not a easy thing to decide when one fills some aspects as the other fills the empty viods.
Or option 3 which is where i still sit and keep pluckling along until it totally does ur mind in.Which i wouldn't suggest to anyone.(kinda of the chicken way out of things aswell)
So really only solution to ease your mind is to choose. One or the other.
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