A
male
age
36-40,
*ishy91
writes:I'm a 24 year old male and I really want a girlfrield. However, it seems that this isn't going to happen as I still haven't kissed a girl. The only time I have ever been intimate is by paying an escort. This was over 3 years ago now but I am thinking of doing the same again. I have tried socialising, going to clubs, trying online dating sites but to no avail. I am not overweight and think I am at least average looking, although I am very short for a guy (5f6").I really hate myself for wanting to go to an 'escort' to just cuddle, but I don't see why it's wrong. Society seems to think it's morally wrong but all I want is what everyone else has. I don't see what's so wrong about it.Another thing that is puzzling is I do not make friends easily and have very few. But most of them are actually girls, so getting close to girls isn't the issue. It just must be that I'm physically not attractive to them.I have no idea what to do and have no idea how I am going to live my life like this. I already wish I ceased to exist every morning, evening and any time I have alone or see couples holding hands. Is anyonee else in this situation?
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male
reader, etpet13  +, writes (29 January 2010):
Listen buddy, though I don't know what you're going through, there are always solutions other than whores. Whores come and go my friend, and that will only make you feel worse in the long run if you continue down that path. Don't turn into a trick. Why don't you go on a dating site? Its more respectable than a hooker and that can give you a chance to express yourself even before you meet someone. And on a dating site they find you compadable mates so you'll have a much better shot at dating a girl with your same interests. If you don't like that idea, join a gym and start working out. Its builds confidence, strength, and you meet a whole bunch of women. A gyms testosterone level is through the roof and I know, I was a manager at one and hooked up with women ranging from 21-40. But I'd go with the dating site and see where that takes you. It costs as much as a quality hooker and you unlike a hooker you may find a connection.
A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (18 May 2008):
I understand exactly where you are coming from and can really relate! "Confidence" is a term used by women, but it's not the confidence in being able to do things well - it's the confidence projected from knowing exactly what you are doing with women and how to relate to them sexually, and avoid being classed as a friend. Most women will never sleep with someone they have put in the "friend" category! Remember that.
Self-esteem is another term that I personally think is overused. A man can feel very good about himself and know he is a good person, but may well be unable to project the lighthearted bluster, humor, and almost indifferent attitude that will attract women in social situations. There is a learned art of sexual progression that a man needs - lighthearted and not pushy, yet aggressive sexually - it's almost impossible to put into words, and a lot of people blow it off using the term "be yourself", something that requires years of learning for some folks, and others never get it. And of course the "natural" that gets all the girls without trying.
I suggest that you do find an escort - some of us are to shy even for that - and spend whatever time with her that you can afford. Let her know you want to learn from her how to pick up girls, or even have her introduce you to someone. Treat her well, and make it worth her while to help you. Have you noticed that your female friends DON'T set you up with women? Ever wondered why? They don't think of you as sexual material, and so you need to learn from someone how to become what you don't appear to be.
You might find it helpful to look up Asperger's, and especially Dr. Brian Gilmartin's work on Love Shyness. Check Wikipedia, and somewhere on the net is his extraordinary work for free - almost 600 pages. I think I posted a link in another answer. Enjoy your time with your escort. A man that is getting laid is always more attractive to women than one that is not. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, DdauttaBunny +, writes (18 May 2008):
 As with most people writing on this site, I cannot pretend to have any expertise and so will not attempt to directly advise you, I can only suggest some solutions to your problem.
It seems that you have some self-esteem issues which are affecting your relationships with others, you have negative thoughts about yourself which are projected into the situation you are in. To resolve this you need to build up your self-esteem, which though cliched it may seem, could be increased through starting a new hobby/ies especially those that would involve interaction with other people. If taken in a positive mindset it will increase your self-belief as well as expanding your social network.
Regardless of your physical appearence, confidence is an attractive feature and if you can believe in yourself you will attract girls; don't be afraid to make a move, if you're rejected you'll be no worse off, so take the chance!
Do not feel guilty about using escorts; unfortunately there are still many prejudices in our society and if using and escort made you happy at the time, then why should any one judge you?
Hope this is helpful, all the best for the future!
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