A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 23 and have never had a boyfriend.I don't really mind being single, and I haven't really been looking for a relationship, I'm pretty busy with study and have a few jobs, and plenty of friends to hang out with, but a lot of people, including my family ask me all the time why I'm not with anyone, and I don't really have an answer for them. I get the impression that I'm not in the majority, and even when I was 18 most peoples reactions were shock; 'you have NEVER had a boyfriend?' Should I be trying harder to find someone to be in a relationship with? or is it just better to let these things happen naturally, if if that means many more years of being alone. I sort of worry that I'm leaving it for too long.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): Tell me about it! I am in the same situation. I really don't mind being single, it feels natural to me and I can't imagine what it is like being in a relationship. The only thing that bothers me are the questions. The dumbest one is "When are you going to find a boyfriend?". What kind of an answer are expecting? I mean, really. Do they think I can see the future or something? I have an aunt I'm avoiding because she always asks me about that and is always so surprised and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. Her daughter was was already married with two kids when she was my age, so she can't fathom that not all people are like that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): What you can do is change where you meet. If you want a hookup, go to a club. If you want decent boyfriend material, you might not find him in a bar or club. In activities, clubs, volunteer work, that's where they lie. It will be natural. I found my current girlfriend like that. I tried to do it the other way and end up hurt. Don't care about other people. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 17 and people were eating me alive because of it. Especially guys, because it's "unmanly" not to have kissed a girl by then. I didn't care. I found my current girlfriend and she was SOOOO happy she was the first to kiss me. She thought it was sweet. And I KNOW that a guy will feel amazing that he is your first. Don't feel bad. Do things for yourself not other people.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): i think, that if you wrote it here is because it is really worrying you, the thing is, that even though it is true that you should let things flow naturally i would suggest that you go out and try to meet guys you would like to date, unless you are comfortable the way you are right now and rather not have anyone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): You should reevaluate yourself. What sort of things are you doing to cause yourself to not have someone. Everyone deserves to have somebody. Sure, it does happen eventually by chance. But you can increase your chances by doing certain things. For example, by wearing make-up, girls increase their chances of having a guy approaching. By going to clubs, girls increase their chances of meeting someone. Overall, there are a ton of things that someone can do to put themselves out there that they are open for love business. If you are doing these things, maybe there are certain qualities you exhume that push guys away. For example, no guys like a girl who is stand off-ish. Especially good-looking guys who can get whatever they want, they don't waste their time waiting for girls or pursuing cold, distant women. Yet, most of the time, these cold distant women WANT to get a strong, confident, and good-looking male. I can vouch that it works contrarily. Prideful women hardly get the prideful strong man. Be a little more open and willing to the idea of letting someone into your fortress. Its not necessarily about respect, but about being open to the idea of love.Hope that helps a bit. Try harder!
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