A
female
age
36-40,
*-Diddy
writes:Hi, I wonder if anyone could help me. My partner and I (both 20 years of age) have been together for over 5 years, we have been engaged for about 1 1/2 years. We have both just completed our first year in Uni and plan to marry afterwards.However, recently I've been getting the urge to start a family, I've had the feeling before but its really bad this time! I know people will say finish my education and live life, but Im not bothered about going out drinking anymore (I'd rather stay in with a bottle of wine!) and I know I'll need a career break at some point, why not now?! I keep getting really frustrated, its all I think about, though he wants to wait (his only reasons being financial).Help me sort my head!xxx :)
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female
reader, T-Diddy +, writes (31 July 2007):
T-Diddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice guys! I just need to know how I'm going to deal with my frustration. I wanna be a Mum now, but I don't want to feel like I'm pushing him into it either?! xxx
A
female
reader, skye +, writes (28 July 2007):
 My advise would be to wait until you both have finished your degree courses and your fiancee has found work. Your can take your career break then. An education is easily carried. That way you can try for a baby with healthy finances. So many people leave their studies "for a while" but never return, and they often regret it. Babies can put strain on your relationship whatever your situation, so surely it is sensible to be financially secure if you can? You say you have felt this way before and it lessened that time. You can help these current strong feelings get put on hold for a while by planning with your fiancee for your future children. Choose names, look for a house in an area with good schools, plan their nursery, maybe even get married(im an old romantic...indulge me!). Im sure you would both want to give your children the best start possible in life. I wish you both well for your future together.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 July 2007):
 His reason for wanting to wait is i have to say a very good one, having two children myself you really do not realise just how much strain it put's on you financially until you have one.
I did not have any qualifications when i had my first, so all i could do was shop work there is nothing wrong with that it's just not very well paid, so i found after paying bills, mortgages and buying things for the children there was very little if anything left over for me and my husband, consequently we never really had the opportunity to go out and you really do need to do that when you have children, you need that time to yourselves.
I'm not trying to put you off i'm just sharing my experience and letting you know i would have probably waited a little bit longer until i was more financially secure, as now i am twenty nine i'm just starting to be able to go out and but things for myself.
Take care.xx.
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