A
female
 ,
*mberBambi
writes:Hey,I have a quite difficult situation at the moment. I split with my boyfriend of 3 years nearly a month ago and i have been seeing this guy over the past 10 days who i really like. The only thing is, im 18 and he is 28. He is such a genuine guy, loving, caring, honest.. everything i anyone could ever want. The problem is my parents! They knew this guy before i did, as he was seeing my 40yr old cousin for a few months. My mum always said how fantastic he was, how much of a nice guy. She was fine with me seeing him in the beginning but over the last 2 days she seems unsure and says im spending too much time with him [last week i spent 3 weekday evenings and saturday and sunday night at his]. I really enjoy his company and he feels the same, but i also get along very well with his flatmates who are all 21-23yrs old, male and female. What can i say to reassure my mum thats its ok? Ive told her we are only friends at this stage but i dont want her panicing because i know she is worried. any help will be greatly appreciated!
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (7 February 2007):
 This 17 year old told me last night she's got a bf. Should I still express my feelings face-to-face or just see her while she's dating other people (advice from another reader)
A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (5 February 2007):
As you know I have split up with my ex, and developing feelings for this other girl, but they are becoming stronger and stronger everyday. The problem is she's 17 and a half and I am 27. I discussed this with her over the weekend, the age difference is the biggest barrier, however, I have said this to her, but the last time she told her family she had an older guy, they freaked out. I asked her to talk to them bbut she said they wouldn't understand; hokever, from reading the reply above, if they really loved and cared for her, they'd want her to be happy. II know they're concerns: whether I'd dump her for an older person (which I wouldn't), if I'd hurt her, cheat on her. I don't know whether to email this page and show it to her, or just reassure her parents myself.
We agreed to meet in a couple of weeks so that I can express my feelings for her face to face as I don't think it's the same over the phone. I don't know whether to meet half-way or go over there.
It it risky telling our parents but, if we both agree, it's worth the sacrifice, but I don't know how her parents will react, and if they don't like it first off, I don't know where to keep on meeting
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A
male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (5 February 2007):
As you know I have split up with my ex, and developing feelings for this other girl, but they are becoming stronger and stronger everyday. The problem is she's 17 and a half and I am 27. I discussed this with her over the weekend, the age difference is the biggest barrier, however, I have said this to her, but the last time she told her family she had an older guy, they freaked out. I asked her to talk to them bbut she said they wouldn't understand; hokever, from reading the reply above, if they really loved and cared for her, they'd want her to be happy. II know they're concerns: whether I'd dump her for an older person (which I wouldn't), if I'd hurt her, cheat on her. I don't know whether to email this page and show it to her, or just reassure her parents myself.
We agreed to meet in a couple of weeks so that I can express my feelings for her face to face as I don't think it's the same over the phone. I don't know whether to meet half-way or go over there.
It it risky telling our parents but, if we both agree, it's worth the sacrifice, but I don't know how her parents will react, and if they don't like it first off, I don't know where to keep on meeting
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (5 December 2006):
 hi there
maybe u can start by being completely honest with her it will help her realize how much this guy mean to u although it is too soon to say the least, sometimes mothers can detect a bad guy for their daughters from a distant he might have been a good guy for ur cousin but she doesnt see that for u, u know how protective mothers are, thats why u need to reassure her. i dont know what u are trying to emphasize with the "getting along with the younger peers" as u didnt make that point clear. respectfully sit her down and tell her u need her support not her judgement, as a mother she will understand u will see. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): I don't think it will be the age gap as such that will bother your mum. More the fact that you are still a teenager and got your whole life ahead of you and that this guy is 28 and might be ready to settle down. You'll just have to tell your mum that you and this guy want to be together and have talked and want the same things. She'll just want you to be able to live your life without babies for the next few years.
I'm 20 now but when I was 18 I was fooling around with a 28 year old and when I told my mum she was like 'Is he married?', 'Does he have any kids?', 'Does he want any?'. Obviously I couldn't tell my mum that it was just a bit of fun so I just told her that I had told him that I'm not ready for settling down. She was relieved and backed off.
Just try to make your mum see that this guy isn't going to force you into anything.
Good luck x
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