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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I really can't take it anymore. I'm not gonna say I'm "in love" but..I'm 18 years old and I'm sooo obsessed with this 30 year old teacher. I hate the way I feel because i get so distracted in school, im not a psycho stalker or anything but i kinda go that extra hallway in between classes just so i can see him. i need help. i cant stop thinking about him. this kid told him that i had a crush on him. he told the kid that he thought i was good looking and spoke well of me and he still says hi to me in the hallways, stares at me, smiles at me and seems to make every effort to talk to me. i dont even have him for any classes. i want him so bad and i really hate the fact that i do. its kinda sad but sometimes i have the urge to like pounce on him and just.. have him. sounds psycho. i know. and i hate it. help me so i can change. if any teacher who has ever been hit on by a high school girl is reading this... PLEASE give me your input on this.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2007): Most young male teachers will be flattered by the attentions of an attractive girl in her late teens, they just aren't allowed to show it though, simply because they can't afford to.
Recipricating the attentions of students in the school can be looked on as professional misconduct for a teacher, and he can be disciplined for such actions, which could be in the worst case being sacked.
My advice having been there is to do NOTHING until you have oficially left the school. At that point tell you would like to keep in touch. It is important though that you don't make any "romantic moves" until you have at least left the school for a few months. I know this may seem agony, but I would say wait 9-12 months to be more sure. That way it is less likely the staff at the school will think that something was going on while you were at the school. Just because a student has left the school doesn't mean the education authority can't investigate the teacher to find out if something inappropriate was going on WHILE you were a pupil in the school.
Male teachers are very vunerable, and yes the argument can be used that they deserve all they get if they date ex-students. Being a teacher is like being a mini celebrity, lots of girls know who you are and a few of them will seriously like you, some even love you. It is difficult for them to resist in the best of situations, so you can help by not making him have to say no to you.
Wait.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): your 18 and in college so it is not illegal, you should follow your feelings
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): Disract yourself from him by all means possible, I was obsessed with a teacher when I 12-14 then I fell in love with him. I am now nearly 17 and I wish I had got out before things had got so intense. My teacher was like that wiht me only over the years he got worse and worse until we verging on emotional affair, now I have a broken heart. Get out of this while you still can!
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A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 If I was you I would assess what it was I liked about him so much. Is it his looks? His personality? Does he make you laugh? What exactly is it that's so special about him? Write those things down and then look at the list. You might find he reminds you of someone else, or a mixture of other people, or else there is a quality about him you haven't found in anyone else before. Either way take note of it because it's something important to you, but file it away as something to look for in your future relationships. I think he's aware of how you feel and is probably not quite sure how to handle it. He doesn't want to make a big deal of it because he thinks you'll get over the crush, but he also doesn't want to be rude. It's very unlikely that he would ever risk losing his job because of you, so forget him. Go out and find an accessible guy. Sometimes it's just the fact that they're inaccessible that makes them so attractive! Think about it. You're fantasising about what you think he is, but in fact he's a real person who probably has moods and picks his nose for all you know! Move on...even if it seems difficult.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2007): i have felt the same way about a teacher at school but i kind of accepted that it was a phase i was going through and that even if i wanted something to happen it would mean him getting in to alot of trouble and even losing his job... a few years later i was in a club and he came on to me and it was then that i realised that it defiantly was just a phase.... every girl goes through it whether it is at school or college you have to try and put it behind you.... good luck
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