A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Well i am 18 years old. I'm not attracted to guys my own age. I'm finding that i'm attracted to guys in their late 20's to mid 40's. the one guy who impacted me tremendously is 41 years old. he made me feel like no one has ever made me feel before. he is married with two kids,,one being close to my age. i feel ashamed but at the same time i am crazy about him. a day hasnt gone by where i havent thought about him. he is in afghanistan now. but the most recent thing that has come up is i went camping recently and found myself falling for someone in the staff who i've known for many years due to camping there, but recently actually got to know him because we invited him to my campsite and he hung out for 2 nights in a row. i've now found myself falling for him. he recognizes it because the 2nd night he came by, we almost did stuff but then my brother came around so we didnt. this guy is 44yrs old who is married and has a son who is 26 and a daughter my age,,so i find it weird. but when i left the campground today i found myself missing him like crazy and constantly thinking about him. i want him so bad. i also want this other man that i previously was doing stuff with. i dont know if this is normal or not. ive always had my father in my life, so its not a dad issue. but i'm not sure why i am absolutely crazy over these two men and why i want them so bad. can anyone give advice? please help. i miss this staff guy from the campground so much that i am going back just to see him,,ive been going to this campground for 16yrs but he's only worked here for like 7. he's the magician but also does the kids activities and other activities. i want to go camping just to see him and hopefully meet up again. i even became friends with his daughter just so i can get to him. HELP
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male
reader, mozartfan1756 +, writes (21 July 2010):
He's married with kids, stay away.
A
female
reader, cjy  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 I know how you feel. I am totally in love with a guy 49 years old...I'm 18. He was my teacher for two years, but we still see each other outside of college because we are currently doing a project together. I have never felt this way about anyone before. Luckily he is single with no kids, he was married but they got divorced about 8 years ago. Its so hard. xx
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A
male
reader, Tarly  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Stoker is right about the married man part sorry but he is off limits which makes your guilt a good thing. But there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone older than yourself. I am currently in a relationship with a woman eight years my senior and while this may draw some complaints in some quarters given the full circumstances of our story I love her and wouldnt giver her up for the world. Not to mention the fact that so is just so mature makes her sexy.The point Im trying to make is if a older man makes you happy so be it, just dont be a home wrecker.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (19 July 2010):
 While there is nothing unusual about liking older men (especially since they often seem more mature and 'interesting' than men you own age), acting upon that attraction with a married man is wrong in every way. Please desist from continuing on the path you are treading with men who are in committed relationships. Think of the people you would be hurting and whether your moral fibre (if any) would revolt against the idea.
Single men are fair game though, and maybe experiencing a relationship with such a person (though I don't recommend serious commitment) is not such a bad thing provided you know what you're doing. Unfortunately, in your case I'm not sure you know what you're doing.
Could you possible wait for, say, another three years before getting into a relationship with someone significantly older than you? A person in his twenties is not as much of a red flag as a person who has crossed forty. Once you're a little older, you'll be in a better position to judge a person, regardless of his age.
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