A
female
age
30-35,
*inkElephant
writes:I'm 17, pregnant and considering adoption, i have read that you grieve every day and can no longer enjoy your childhood for worrying about the baby you gave up. I feel little for the foetus, although being only a month old i'll admit, and only knowing a few days. Anyway, i just wanted to know if this is the right option, i cannot raise the baby and the other option unfortunately is abortion, and although it may sound selfish, i would /almost/rather get rid of the few cells growing inside me than spend the rest of my life grieving for it. So please, any opinions would be helpful.Also, if in the UK, how did you go about the process?
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female
reader, Alice32  +, writes (11 December 2010):
Giving a baby up is traumatic as it may be keeping it, if you can't support and care for him.
It depends how you go about it, the support you have to go through with the decision. Giving a baby up if you can't provide is an act of love and this would make a couple who want to adopt very happy.
I strongly suggest you don't make this decision alone but seek out professionals. Check this site:www.adoptionservices.org They can help you make the right decision weighing all the options and what is best for you and the baby.
Good luck! And take care!
A
female
reader, Christine Drake +, writes (18 August 2010):
If adoption might be a possibility for you, my husband and I want to adopt a child and enter into an open adoption relationship with a birthmom. In an open adoption, the birthmom and adoptive parents decide together how much contact they want (visits, updates, etc. – the amount of contact that everyone is comfortable with). The birthmom knows her child is safe and happy and the child can have their questions answered. Please see our website at www.candm-adopt.com to learn more about us. We wish you the best with your tough decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): be wary of promises of an "open" adoption where you get pictures and letters from the adoptive parents about the child - most adoptions close within the first year and you have no right because an open adoption is not legally binded to stay open.
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A
female
reader, unappeciatied +, writes (9 April 2010):
I myself can not have children.I am looking to adopt myself. I am young and at first I thought that infertility was for old ladies. When a woman has made up her mind to adopt she opens up a whole new world for woman like me. Children are not for every1, nor is college or corporate jobs. If you are not ready to be a mother their are woman out there like me that would love to keep you involved with your childs life. Talk to your mom and explore your options. There is a time for evrything. No1 can tell you what you are ready for, but you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010): you could try social services for the local adoption agency or try yellow pages or google. My brother was adopted and when trying to trace him i had to find the adoption agency my mother used. I personally just typed in adoption agency and my local area into google, and hey presto - i found it :) My mother has both adopted and aborted a child - for her personally she prefered adoption - yes she grieves still but she feels utter pain and terror when thinking of her abortion - for her, giving her child away was easier to live with than knowing she had killed a child etc. But its up to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): I have once was put in your shoes I did abort and at first I was hurting day by day, crying myself to sleep but after awhile I've come to realization on my own it was the best and for a reason I went through what I did the way I look at it is that my little angel was teaching me a lesson to grow up can now he or she is back in heaven watching over me making sure I don't hurt those around me or me to take care of myself and I have grown and learned my lesson I am pregant now and I feel my little angel came back to me now mommy is more then ready... When I aborted I was 3 months there is two types surgical abortion and I forgot what the other is called medical abortion I believe they give you two pills but before you take anyones advice inform yourself well on abortion and adoption think of how it will affect you and to those with the knowledge of your pregnancy how it would affect them I would suggest if you consider abortion afterwards sorround yourself with positive things and people family members anf friends migt want to also talk to a counciler of some sort... But your only a month you are still in time think now and take action now. It's not hard to raise a child all you need is to focus on you you you work go back to school get certain help and a loving family... My reason why I couldn't have my child was the father was not going to be there was going to make me miserable threathen me and my family I didn't have a job I wasn't even going to school I kept looking for a job nothing came up and didn't have good health at the time..
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A
female
reader, PinkElephant +, writes (8 April 2010):
PinkElephant is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell the reason being i'm living at home and doing my A levels (big scary exams), i am almost certain my mother wouldn't support me, though admittedly i haven't told her yet, and my father has had nothing to do with me for a long time. The father of the baby would face his own problems if i kept it, and he certainly wouldn't be able to support me and the baby; not that i would especially want him to, i've been brought up my entire life learning to stand on my own 2 feet, i couldn't let a man earn the money for me while i sat at home with a screaming baby, i know i could not be a good mother, i just don't have 'the maternal instinct' no matter what evolution dictates. i want to go to uni and get a good job, this isn't the life i want.
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