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I'm 17, he's 16. My friends put me down for liking someone younger!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 January 2007) 15 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2010)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hey guys

theres this guy that i like, he also really likes me. however im 17, and his 16 and my friends wont stop putting me down because they think the guy should never be younger even thought its only 1 year. I know u shouldnt listen to other people but its really hard when ur friends wont approve of you. anyone in the same situation, any thoughts? thanks heaps...

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A female reader, hellosancia United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2010):

im sort of in the same sitch its like the beginning of the relationship you could say ... and i like the boy but because every one including myself have always had the opinion that boys should be the older ones when i found out he was like a whole year younger i found it weird and im still debating if its a good idea ... but ive been out with older guys and the have turned out to be compleat wankers... i dunno i think we will just have to see

but if you feel that hes the right one for you no one should change your mind (well that what ive been trying to convince myself) ... i dont think its that much of a big deal ... its just your opinon :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

Tell them at least you have a boyfriend! Maybe this type of old-fashioned view is restricting them!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

I have the same problem. I'm 19 and he's 16 going on 17. I don't know what to do I like him and he likes me but my sisters thinks its weird. I just found out the other day. I know that I shouldn't worry but I am.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

i am in exactly the same situation and after reading these comments i totally agree,up until now i always thought that my freinds would be happy for me no matter what but at the end of the day YOU do whats right for you ..a year is no big deal and after all the comments that have been written im going to take everybodys advice on board and so should you .. everybody deserves happiness ..dont you think?

THANKS EVERYONE :)

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A male reader, daletom United States +, writes (19 January 2008):

I don't think a 1-year age difference is necessarily a problem. Mental and emotional maturity is much more significant - but isn't likely to be a MAJOR problem unless you're a very mature 17-year old and he's an especially immature 16-year old.

My wife is older than I am. The worst (or maybe the best?) thing about that is, for almost 5 months I can accurately call her "My old lady". I don't think anybody has ever made any serious comments about our age difference, but we didn't meet until we were 22 (it happened during the 7 months when we are the "same" age) so our friends were more mature than most 17 year-olds.

If your friends are serious about their comments, not simply teasing you about "robbing the cradle", you might suggest that THEY should be dating the 16-year olds (or even 15-year olds), so they can grow up together. If it's difficult for you to maintain a rational, mature, approach in the face of their prejudice you might consider looking for other friends.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008):

Well your aren't your so called "friends" old fashioned.

Jealousy may also play a part ;)

Well I know what situation you're in. I'm also dating someone a year younger than I. He's also a bit shorter then me, but I don't think that matters. Just go along with him, ignore the people that put you down, they'll quit eventually.

Good luck =]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007):

ok well i like a guy who is 14 and im 15 and hes only in 8th grade and im in 10th yea i know that age dont matter but its hard not listeing to other people.Another problem is that he lives a hour and a half away from me and im worried that he wont take the relatioship as serious as im going to so as you can see i need advice so COMMENT back!!! lol

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007):

I am in the same situation. Im 17 and he's 16 - so i know where youre coming from. When i turn 18 he'll still be 16 for two more months so thats weird too. I think that if you guys like each other then its no big deal, but the only problem i having is what happens if we are too far apart when it comes to where we are in life. Like i work, and am getting ready to go to college in september; does that make me seem too mature for him? Are these your worries or are they what your friends say? Do you normally like younger guys or is this more of a suprise?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007):

Hey! My friend is also dating someone that is one year younger than her and they been going out for almost 3 years. Sorry to say but i dont think your friends now are your real friends. If they are, they wouldnt mind you dating someone younger than you. I think they probably think too much about reputation. Truely, age dont make a difference. SO what if they are younger. WEll one thing about that is usually guys or girls who are younger than each other would not take the relationship seriously. Like okay, after you graduate, things would change. He maybe or probably wont like you anymore because you guys can hardly see each other and since your entering college, you would probably be busy. ..::sigh::.. maybe im starting to get off topic, but these may be the possibilities.

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A female reader, love2help +, writes (7 January 2007):

age doesn't matter as long as you love each other. i know its hard when friends say things but stand up for yourself. he may be younger but as long as he makes you happy then you shouldn't mind. try telling your friends that it hurts your feeling when they say things like that. maybe they don't do it on purpose. don't worry if they are jealous because everyone gets envious at times.

Good luck with your realtionship and keep your head high and don't let anyone put you down!

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (3 January 2007):

stina agony auntHi there Anon,

Dude, what the heck? Not dating someone because they're a year younger is ridiculous. Your friends sound like a bunch of callous jerks. You really like this guy and the only thing they can pick on him for is his age? Are they jealous or something? Because that's what it sounds like to me. Either that or they have no idea how to prioritize what qualities are good in a partner. What matters really is how you both feel about one another, how he would treat you in the relationship, how well you get along, and the list goes on and on. Age would be near the bottom of that list. Try to ignore what your "friends" say.

You also asked if anyone was in the same situation. Well, actually when I was 14 I dated someone who was 13. People thought it was a little strange at first, but I tried not to let it bother me. Me and that guy ended up dating until I was almost 19. (The reason it didn't work out is because eventually we grew apart and I also went away to school.)

And then several years ago I met my husband. He is almost two years younger than me. We don't even think about it. It's seriously not a big thing at all. I mean, I wouldn't even consider there being a real age difference if it's only 1 - 2 years apart.

The point is do what makes you happy, not what makes your friends happy. You can't and shouldn't have to think you need to live your life for someone else, right?

Take care.

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A female reader, xENZx +, writes (3 January 2007):

Hey, you love each other... so what does it matter

It's only 1 YEAR APART!!!

My mum is 12 years younger than her boyfriend... and now they're gettin married. There obviously not your real friends if they're takin the mick.

Talk with him

Lv Enya

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007):

It's odd. I made so many rules when I was a youth...and being an adult...I broke every one. *laffs*

A year is no biggie and it's odd that at such an age...being a teen that a year seems to be so monumental??

*blinks*

I am 34 and my BF (he's on probation) is 33. It is so irrelevant.

Just tell them hey...I can't help it I am so HOT that the young men just swarm to me!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007):

Hey i was in the same situation as u last year i was 15 and my bf was 14. There is nothing at all wrong with it, if you love him and he loves you whats the problem? your friends should be haapy for not putting you down - Just igore what they say thats what i did!!!

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A female reader, [Natalie] +, writes (3 January 2007):

[Natalie] agony auntHi there.

To start with, no, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks.

Seconds, the guy doesn't HAVE to be older. Just dont expect too much of him. And it is only a year. Dont sweat over it. If your friends cant accept that you'll be happy with this guy, they're not being true friends. Try talking to them, and explain that you want them to support you with the decition that will make you happy.

Good Luck!

xxx

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