A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey dudes,okay, here goes... I'm a 17 year old female and have a part-time job in a restaurant. I am very close with both my bosses who are married, but I am the closest with my female boss *Amanda. For the past year and a half I have had sexual and emtional feelings for her. I am straight, or so I thought, but maybe now I am thinking I am bisexual. Because I have felt like this for so long, I have come to realise that I have fallen in love with her. She's so special to me, but the situation is terrible for me. She thinks we are just really good mates and I hate deceiving her, but I want to keep my job there because i love working there. She is 50 years old but doesn't look a day over 25!!! Please help me, it's tearing me apart!! xxx
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 October 2005):
 You didn't actually say that 'Amanda' was married to your other boss, they could both be married to other people so POPS was assuming this and people also don't automatically know they are gay before they reach puberty;confusion can play a major role, along with many other emotions and feelings.
I think you have a crush on this lady and there is nothing wrong with that. Its okay, you don't desperately need help as POPS is saying. What you are going through is normal and many young women experience this. Understand this first and foremost.
You are going through a difficult time as you are maturing, many do. It must be very hard for you to work under these circumstances. She may even actually have an inkling as to how you feel but don't worry about that.
She is able to handle it.
Do you want to continue working there when you feel this way? It may be easier for you to work elsewhere. Declaring how you feel to this woman could be a major mistake. There is a massive age difference between you and she is married. You could end up feeling even worse than what you already feel.
If you worked somewhere else, it would allow you to begin to get over what you feel. Seeing your boss every day doesn't help matters.
If you are concerned about your sexuality, then indeed see a counsellor but I think this is all part of growing up without trying to sound patronising.
As you get older, you will find someone else who is attainable but you need to go out and spend time with your friends.
I know how much this hurts right now but the logical side of your brain is already telling you that this is a no go zone. Listen to what it is saying to avoid further pain and make more of a life for yourself outside work.
Good luck.
A
reader, pops +, writes (26 October 2005):
Get some counseling. At her age, she knows whether she is gay or not. If she has not shown any interest in you by now, she isn't gay. YOu even tell us that she is married to your other boss. Find someone else to love. But see a counselor to work out your sexual identity. You are very young. Most gay people know they are gay long before they hit puberty. If you are not sure you are gay, you aren't. You may have bi-sexual urges, but you are probably straight. Talk to someone. You need help.
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