A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi im 15 and ive been picked on most of my childhood and it realy effects my mind when people call me gay and i know im straight but when im in bed i am paranoid about what people say about me nd i dnt act feminine or anything, i only masturbate to straight porn or women teasing and i have fancied this girl that i grew up with four years but im too shy to ask her out and i think its being teased that has made me have anxiety all my life but in my mind im telling myself no im not gay but all the time as if i have to prove to myself.Please help i much appreciate it p.s please dont reccomend seeing a therapist because i dont like talking to people in the flesh about these things.
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female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (22 July 2010):
 It will probably do no good to say you shouldn't let other people's opinions and comments rule your psyche. But that's easier said than done. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. It is time for a make-over? Could it be that you get teased because you haven't made the transition from youth to young man? Do your clothes reflect something a cool hetro guy would wear? And what about your hair. Too much mousse and that weird little point in the middle of your scalp may be sending out the wrong message. If you lack fashion sense, check out the web and see how real men dress and style their hair. After you give yourself an overhaul, it's all about attitude - do guy things, take up a guy sport. Instead of piano, learn how to play rock keyboard or take up the drums. Skip the golf clubs until you're 30, and take up baseball, softball, or basketball. You have to look like a guy who isn't trying too hard if you want to turn the heads of the ladies, so don't let anyone catch you checking yourself out in the mirror (that's so gay). I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, chickapea123  +, writes (22 July 2010):
there is nothing wrong with being gay but people call you that because it makes them feel better because maybe they are questioning their own sexuality? if you really like that girl go up to her just talk to her. get comfortable with her then when you feel ready ask her!:) maybe get new clothes a non-dorkie hair cut join a sport get active with everything! annnnd last you shouldnt care what people think or you will never live you life!!!!!
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A
female
reader, The wife listener  +, writes (22 July 2010):
Hi mate, i'm sorry to hear what your going through. You know being a teenager is one of the hardest, yet exciting times in life.Peer pressure can shape a person, and how you look at it is the answer to how you survive it.I'm not saying that the people who tease you are gay, but they'll sure be hiding something. The people who are really thought of as cool, you'll notice are nice people with it. The ones who are feared are not cool at all, In order for them to gain there recognition, they either, have to put other people down to take any negative attention away from them or they bully to show they're tough, which again demonstrates that they have to always be proving themselves. Why?Dont question yourself mate. Even if you were gay, its no big deal and i'm quite sure your not.Unfortunately because your school age, this means that you dont have much choice in the company your around. Therefore your surrounded by people who are going through all sorts of ideas (good and bad). Through this, people are surrounded by lots of influences. That's why teenagers may start on drugs and crime. Its all about proving themselves in one way or another.Try to avoid these people as much as possible and dont let them intimidate you when you do have to be around them.Concentrate on this girl if you want to and ask yourself what is it you really like, look at her personality closely and make sure you truly like her personality before you risk your feelings on her. Take your time with it. Also, Try to get into something at night. Something that will occupy your mind and send you to bed with something else to think about. This could be an activity or a project. Try to get an education too. If your not academically minded, Find an interest and learn all you can about it. With doing this you'll be less likely to be stuck around people you dont like in the future. The more you know, the less mistakes you'll make. You'll be at college or in the workplace before you know it.Your shaping your future right now. Make the most of it mate and watch the cool guys (real or not) shape theirs. It could be interesting.Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 July 2010):
 people tease you because your an easy target not because what they say is true.. to be honest theres usually only one way to stop teasing.. personally if some kid called me gay i would kick their ass,,, in HS i didnt get teased mutch because kids knew if they pissed me off they would have to fight me in other words i wasnt an easy target .. Im not advocating violence though.. you can start by telling your parents and school officials that might help wont get you kool points though. in the US many states have passed anti bullying legislation.. because all the teasing n schools has led to many suicides.. I saw alot of kids get teased and bullied i think its messed up to gang up on some one like that... you gotta get tougher dont be afraid of them most bullies hate them selves they make fun of you to make themselves feel better... I kno where supposed to be peaceful and non violent these days but the only way ive ever seen a bully beat is buy being beat... My tactic was just to say something that would make the bully attack me then its self defense like call his mother a frog or something that always worked.. and you usually dnt hve to beat them all just one... I suggest training up for a month or two take some martial arts and hit the gym hell just getting bigger might shut them up... plus your confidence will be better... didnt you see the karate kid? oh and ask that girl out she might say no but a no is way better then the regret of never knowing... Well if your parents and school officials cant put an end to it kick their ass you gotta work on the look to like the Rock do some crazy thing with your eye.. fights hurt but if you put some lumps on the other guy its worth it besides your getting hurt any way when they pick on you.
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A
male
reader, TheWolf  +, writes (22 July 2010):
 The truth is kids are cruel . I was picked on too . Was called many names . They got there kicks out of it and made them look less at there selves and there own fears . Number one stand up for yourself . As long as you keep taking there abuse it will only continue and get worse . If they see it bothers you and upsets you they will just continue . You can either handle this one of 2 ways , stand up to them which may get physical or violent , or join in and laugh at yourself , make fun of yourself with them , if your doing it too it takes the fun away from them . kinda reverse psycology. Ok that girl you wanna ask out , do it . im telling you if you dont you will wonder what if for the rest of your life . If she turns you down then oh well you move on and there will be plenty of other girls . There was a girl back in highschool i loved from afar , always scared to ask her out , we were friends , And i never ever made a move to make her mine . Ive thought about her off and on all my life . And always wondered what if she was the one . Recently ive moved back to my home town after 25 years . That same girl lives down the street from me and i have to look at her everyday as she drives by with her husband with her lol . And yea i have to laugh cause ya know that could have been me . So get off your butt and ask that pretty lil girl out .
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