A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14, and I'm completely, totally, insanely in-love with a 17 year old boy. Well, at least I think I am. I don't even know him, I've never spoken to him, and I've only ever heard him talk once. It was kind of love at first sight.I've been 'in love' since I moved to this school at when I was 11. Everytime I saw him I embarassed my self, ran away, went bright red, had my freinds shout, "LOOK, LOOK, SHE LOVES YOOOU!" at him...you name it.Everyone thought it was a joke. They kept on telling me, "You don't know him!", "You'll get over him", "Don't be stupid."I've had other people say "Oh, he HATES you!" and also this MASSIVE rumour started that I 'stalked' him. His girlfriend belived it, everyone else belived it, and HE belived it. HOW? I could'nt even stand to be near him! How could I have been 'stalking' him!? I was left feeling like a total reject, and everyone thought it was funny.People went up to him for a laugh, asked him out for me, told him things like I was a child whore and I stalk him and I wanna have sex with him and that I did things like steal him drumsticks to keep. Wtf?Someone told his girlfreind she was a 'fat bitch' and said it was me. Great. Now to add to everything, I had this gang of 16 year old girls on me calling me jealous and shouting at me.I've completey ruined everything. I know I would'nt be with him, me being so young, but I just wanted to keep it to my self. Not mess up everything so badly like this.I hav'nt got over him. I keep on thinking of the ULTRA embarssing moment I had just being around him. I cry all the time. I see him in EVERYTHING.I can't belive I'm actaully here talking about this, but I don't know what to do.Don't tell me to get over it. I cant. And I don't think I'm going to. It's already been 3 years. I just love him sooo sooo much but I have NO reason at all to feel like this.From what I can tell, he thinks I'm a silly little girl with a crush on him, someone to pity, a pain in the neck. This crushes me.What is wrong with me!!???
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): im so sorry if this is gonna sound very mean but i can' t help reading your problem and not getting mad..you say you are 14 and you are in love since your 11?????im sorry but i think its not love that you are feeling.i've been there when i was 13 or something and i can assure you it's not love i felt.it's only an obsession,a crush of yours that kept on instead of fading away like all crushes.for god's sake,you are only 14,you can't say you are in love and you'll never get over him!until you are married(and maybe even then)you'll have so many crushes in your life you won't count them anymore!!now,i think your only way to solve your problems is to forget about him!!!!!can't you see that by still "loving" him,causes you the problems you have.just think about it for a second,why does everybody tell you to forget him??maybe because it's the only solution???and the first thing you have to do to forget him,it's to take the decision!!i know it's so hard to forget him but you just have to remind yourself that it's your only solution.once you take the decision,it's gonna be a long way to get there.you'll have to let time be the doctor and maybe find someone else to keep your mind to.not a boyfriend,but maybe a new crush.look around you,there are so many boys!!i think i should agree with you when you said that you think that he only sees you as a little girl who follows him around.if i was in his place,i'd think the same!really,think about it!the whole school knows you love him,you are just embarassing yourself by loving him!now about those who are picking on you,i think they've got nothing else to do and pick on someone whom they see as a little girl.you can stop this,if you just try for a second to be strong.honestly,do you know how much it's going to help you if you are not crying in front of them??all you need is to show them you are not a small girl who cries when they pick on her.and i tell you that in your whole life you are going to face this.people who pick on you and you'll just have to be strong!!!you have to learn that in life the strongest picks on the weakest...there is nothing wrong with you,you are just getting to know how life really is..and your only way to survive is to be strong..be strong and not cry when people pick on you..be strong and try to forget about someone whom you "love" but he doesn't even know you exist...you are the one who started all this,you are the one who can put an end....i just hope helped...and i wish you good luck...
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 hey comon, you know very well there is nothing wrong with you! you haven't done anything wrong..... these fools just working on ruining your life...
prove them wrong . simply by having a boyfreind your own age, and showing him that you don't care about him anymore.. maybe that will make them just shut up for a while!
you already know that you can't be with him, so why don't you take a break of all of this and have your self a boyfreind who can make you happy...?
and don't you care about what other people say.. we all have been threw this some place maybe differently but the same thing : people talking about us.
but life moves on and by time you learn how to deal with it, because that's what builds personality.
don't cry infront of them, because that is what they want, hold it up inside as much as you can.. because if you cry infront of them, they will enjoy it and keep on doing what they are doing... when you ignore them they will get bord ,in seeing that they aren't afftecting you in anyway...
good luck, and tell us what happens next. byeXXX.
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A
female
reader, muffy  +, writes (25 November 2007):
 nothing is wrong with you.you are finally figuring out what love is.i should know because i have a problem like that as well.me and me ex have broken up 6 times and only got back together 5 but i am still madly in love with him.ive never even met the guy.he lives in newport so i cant really see him a lot and i only talked to him on the phone.we had a good relationship but certain people got in the way and started making lies that i was cheating on him but i wasn't.and now all i can do is think about him,i cry over him and i always talk about him.the sad part is that he doesn't wanna be friends or ever talk to me again and i don't know why.but don't listen to the other people.my friends tell me just to get over him but they don't know how hard it is.i totally understand and i'm not goinng to tell you to just get over him because i know its hard.so what you should do is just tell him the truth.you can be shy but just don't show it or tell him your shy so he knows you are and he will understand if you run away.but tell him everything is a lie and that you do like him.but he is kinda old for you so just be careful because older guys tend to break hearts easily.so don't listen to anyone and tell his girlfriend that you didn't say that and everything will get better.i promise.i hope i helpedlove and kisses.p.s.-message me if you do what i said and tell me what happens mmk.:)-
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007): Nothing is wrong with you!
All of these people that have nothing better to do but ruin your life are complete idiots that are insecure about their own lives so they feel they have to hurt others. Unfortunately, there are so many of these people out there. I know it's really hard for you to be going through all this, but I think that you should attempt to look at some boys your own age. Maybe there is someone right in your own grade that you subconciously liked, but have been so focused on this older boy you haven't noticed. By averting your attention from the older boy to something else, it might help you feel better and ignore the nasty comments. I hope I helped! Good luck!
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