A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 13 and my boyfriend is 18. We live at least 8 states apart. We knew each other when he lived here, but he had to move away because his dad was relocated. I know that it's illegal for us to be going out, but we're not having sex or anything. My mom says she isn't okay with this, and she has a fit when i call him. We really do love each other, and he's really sweet and sensitive. I really dont see a problem. What should i do? I want to move in with him when i turn 18, but my mom says she'll send the police after me. What should i do? Can she do this? I'll be 18, so i'll be of age. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (3 January 2008):
 I'll bet my lunch money that by the time you're 18, you won't even remember this guy's name. Your mother knows best. He's an adult (by most standards) and you're not. Go have some fun!!!!
A
female
reader, Complicated*One  +, writes (2 January 2008):
Hey,
Age gaps arnt so bad when you get older however at your age you should be thinking about having fun with your friends, shopping, whats the latest music you can download....not moving in with a lad who is five years older then you. when you hit 17-18 this age gap will seem like nothing but for now you are too young to be with someone who should be a lot maturer then you. you may be a lovely girl but what an 18year old sees in a 13 year old i dont have a clue.
Your mum may seem to be being harsh and unfair to you however after being in a situation the same as this for 2years like i have been you can see that she is only looking out for you.
Knowone is telling you who to like, just be careful. maybe you should take a step back for a while and really take a look, this lad can go to pubs and could be doing all sorts behind your back.... hope i have helped.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 You are 13. It's not necessary to make a decision about your whole future immediately. You have a lot of years ahead of you and believe it or not, you might not feel the same way about him in two years, and that's okay too. Trying on different friends and relationships is exactly what you should be doing right now, it's what being a teenager is all about. If I were you, I'd slow down the decisions a bit and not let your crush on this older boy decide your whole life for you.
Believe it or not, your Mom may see something in this boy that she recognizes from ALL of her past experiences, and she might just be trying to stop you from making a BIG mistake. And I have been your age, and had children your age, so I happen to know that most 18 year olds are dating other 18 year olds - not 13 year olds. That's a big red flag. Right now it's illegal and even if you both are getting older, it's a bit worrying that he wants to hang with someone in your age group. She's worried about him putting pressure on you to do things that are more normal for his age group, not yours. It doesn't seem very trustworthy or socially acceptable that he wants to go against the law and your Mom's trust, either.
Don't commit yourself to only him right now. You should be out with groups of people your own age, hanging and having a great time. You have plenty of time to be in a couple soon enough. Take good care of yourself with the decisions that you are making for yourself.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 January 2008):
 At 18, she won't be able to get the police involved but she can now...you may think your mother is being over-protective but in time you will understand her 'having a fit' is really a normal reaction from a caring parent who is trying to protect her daughter. It is better she cares than she doesn't!
I am not normally judgemental of age-gap relationships as I am in such a situation but the difference is that we are both adults. Apart from the legal aspects of this, an 18 year old should be emotionally different from a 13 year old. If he finds you attractive then it may indicate some shortcomings in his own personality that make it difficult for him to relate to girls his own age. I can see why you would like him very much but you really ought to take care not to get into an adult-like situation that you are not ready for.
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A
female
reader, megan e +, writes (2 January 2008):
hi there what you really got to think about here is that is he really worth falling out with your mom over, your mother is your best friend and it sounds if she is really worried aboud you, wich i understand as your only 13 and think your in love and still only young just think and be carefull with this guy does he really love or is he in it for somthing else, best of luck
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