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Illegal age difference but I like him! What should I do?

Tagged as: Age differences, Forbidden love, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am in a play and the accompanist is cute. I am however younger than he is and the age difference is 5 years which would be illegal for him since he's 21. I like him and don't know if he is interested single or not. I have had relationships with older guys before, however I am wondering how to approach him. I like him and we have to work together but I don't know how to act around him and the other kids in the play are just that..kids. I think it's awkward to do anything in front of them and the adults but I like him and I'm not sure what to do. Advice would be useful. Thanks!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunt21-5 is 16

a man of 21 should NOT be interested in dating a girl of 16

and yes it's normal for a girl of 16 to want to date a man of 21

you can be friends but until you are 18 dating/sex is off the table.

In addition if you have to work together it's not a good idea to become romantically involved because if you break up then it's very tense at work...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012):

If its illegal for you to date a guy of 21, then I take it you must be age 15 or younger? If that's correct, then you yourself are still a kid!

I don't agree with illegal relationships between adults and children, so I'm not going to give you any advice on how to date this guy behind everyone's back and avoid the law.

My answer is simply "NO!"

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 October 2012):

chigirl agony auntIt's not illegal to date you and have a relationship with you, it is illegal for you to have sex with anyone at your age. That is what is illegal.

I think you need to talk to him an dget to know him first though, before you make any moves. Maybe he is already in a relationship, or maybe he doesn't like girls who are that much younger than him. Or maybe it is not proper to flirt because you work together, although he isn't a teacher the lines are delicate and flirting could be crossing the line.

I would wait until you are done with the play. Maybe be brave and ask if he would like to meet you some time, once the play is over?

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