A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi there,So, I've been a 'thing' with this guy for over a year. We've started to 'do' stuff, he knows I won't go all the way, we're both virgins, but I've given him hand jobs and he enjoys it, I enjoy it. Except, he keeps trying to finger me, but I won't let him. For some reason, I feel like doing stuff to him isn't as bad as him doing stuff to me. Does that make sense? He keeps asking me why I won't let him, but I don't know if he'll understand. I just have really strong morals about my virginity, I think I'd really regret it if let him. Is that weird that I don't mind doing anything to him, but I won't let him do anything to me? Guys, if your girl touched you, but wouldn't let you touch her, would you be mad? How do I explain it to him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): It isnt weird. I do the exact same thing with my bf. I guess i just dont like my body being touched. I think the same goes for you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2011): Sounds fair enough. Lay down the rules. Teach him about your clit, show him how to do it (he might know) - you will likely enjoy this much more than vaginal fingering. You will need to trust him not to insert fingers into your vagina.
Trust me, if you can wank him off while he rubs your clit, while you both are passionately kissing - that will be very hot for you both.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): Ok, so if he has already had an orgasm, then he's probably not thinking about sex, but mainly returning the favor. Some guys, like myself, feel guilty that we got to have something so enjoyable done for us and can't make you feel the same way. My advice is to ask him why he wants to so badly...if it's because he wants you to feel as good as he feels, then my guess he'll keep trying. If that's the case and you're not ready for it, (and that really is ok and a good thing) then you need to tell him how much you enjoy what you do, but if he keeps trying that you're going to stop doing it.
Tell I'm in no uncertain terms that you will not compromise your virginity, but to enjoy what you have now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2011): You don't sound ready yet. If you have really strong views about virginity then you should stick to them, but that is much easier if you don't do sexual things. For what it's worth, for a woman to have sex or start down that path, at some point she has to let someone enter her, this is a big deal, don't treat it like it isn't. It is much easier to stay a virgin if you don't open the window of your house in the first place
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