A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok for the purpose of this question I'll call the 2 guys Tom and Will. I apologise if this is a bit long but I feel I need to explain the history on this!When I was in my teens I started dating Tom and became really good friends with his best mate, Will.Tom and I were together 7 years and had a child together (who Will is godfather to) before we broke up last year.Anyway, Will and I hadn't seen each other for a long time but a few months ago we started chatting again and one thing has led to another and we've been sleeping with each other for a couple of months now. But now I'm starting to really like him and judging by the way he treats me and the things he says I'm sure he likes me too. The thing is, I know he'll never do nything about it and we'll never be more than a secret thing because Tom means so much to him as a friend.So I wanted to ask any men out there, if you were in Toms position and found out what's been going on, would you forgive Will?And have any girls been in a similar situation? I'm just not ready to give him up even though I know it will probably only get harder with time. And when it does come to an end how do we continue being friends when we know each other so intimatly? I really value his friendship and don't want to lose that.I can't help thinking I've made a big mistake here and could really do with some advice. Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for that advice, in answer to your questions I can honestly say there is no chance whatsoever that Tom and I will get back together. He's with somebody else now and we ended on bad terms, we're only civil to each other for the sake of our daughter.
And yeah, I do feel strongly for Will, it's not like I love him or anything but he means so much to me and I can really see myself falling for him.
Also I know I should just lay my cards on the table and tell him how I'm feeling but I'm scared that if he doesn't feel the same way I'll lose what we have at the moment and I don't think I could deal with that. It's all so confusing!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): ok so i have questions! but 1st i'm gonna say think about this and do what makes u happy, before u say anything to tom or will ask ur self if there is a chance u and tom will get back together? has tom found someone? and then do u know that you are the only one in wills life? do u think he wants a relationship and wont say? i mean if there is a chance u and tom are gonna get back together say nothing sometimes u have to say nothing and let things happen i know you like will bc he is new and different but is it strong? if u feel as you and will care about each other ( the both of you feel this way) and want to make something happen then say something, thats the only way you are gonna really know once everything is out in the open u don't have to tell tom you have been sleeping with will! you and will can sit down with tom and tell him u would like to date tom is going to be upset there is no way around that so really think about this, y not keep will as a secret without obligations? i have been in a situation like this but i didn't know both men for as long as u no matter how this goes if tom finds out he would need time to forgive will and you thats just men! gl i hope this helped
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A
female
reader, Jess1ca_1988  +, writes (8 July 2009):
first of all this is just my opinion, i would probably talk to him n see if he wanted to be serious or if he just wanted to keep fooling around. If he did want to get serious it wld probably be better to get it out n the open and let everyone know how yall feel about each other. It is uaually easier for the "guys" to forgive each other than a guy to forgive his ex
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