A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep this as concise as possible. At my summer job last year, my male coworker quickly developed a huge crush on me. Because he made it so obvious, we became a common joke amongst our coworkers which really bothered me. Thankfully, the joke diminished when I left my job and the school year began. A few coworkers and I (including him) became good friends and hung out regularly. He and I began texting and studying together regularly for a few months. I knew he still liked me, but I didn't think too much of my actions. He was a little brother to me, immature and innocent, and we helped one another in occasional times of need. However the more I knew him, the more his true self came out. I always knew he was immature but he became more and more annoying. He asked "what's wrong" if I didn't respond to his text within a few hous. He would have times of angry silence without warning (like a toddler), and ate like a pig at my birthday dinner. After my bday dinner my friends and I hung out at my house, and he overstayed his welcome by helping me clean up. I told him no thank you many times and he insisted--no forced staying. I felt absoutely disrespected. As a friend, I have told him many times that his annoying behavior was innapropriate and irritated others (our group of friends) and myself. Over winter break, I went on vacation and took the opportunity to distance myself from him. I couldn't see myself being friends with him, and knowing his personality, I had to actually "take action" and purposely ignore him. Recently, my friends and I attended his birthday dinner. He irritated my friend by asking her 15 questions in a row without giving her time to answer. I was full after dinner but he pushed me to eat his birthday cake which was supposed to be my favorite flavor. Then he abrubtly left which relieved us. 20 mins later, he returned to the restaurant (which is also my new workplace) and screamed at me "stop lying to yourself!" It was bazarre and quite laughable, but one of our friends went outside to talk to him. We watched from the window and he was bawling. Turns out he freaked out cuz I didn't want to eat my favorite cake and cuz I sipped wine even though I never drink. He also kept saying I changed. And that was it! It was incredibly bizzare behavior and we didn't know what to make of it, other than the fact that he's probably obsessed with me. I pegged him as dangerous and blocked all forms of contact with him. My friends have done a good job in blocking him from contacting me, which they feel is best as well. They're still in contact with him, which isn't ideal for me, but it's not really my business. I just hope he doesn't come try find me at my workplace. Also he had recently moved in with his best friend, in the same community as me, and knows where I live. He transformed from a very annoying immature friend to someone potentially dangerous. We feel he could hurt himself or others.Anyway I'm very happy now that I have no contact with him. My life is normal without burden. However my question is, if he ever were to show up at my workplace again, how do I handle it? I would probably treat him as a regular customer. But if he insisted on anything unrelated to work, do I call the police? Do I ask my manager to ban him from here? He has started training at our other branch. Something that irritates me because we all feel he entered our company because of me. Thankfully my manager didn't want him at our store because he dislikes him. He sensed a "weird" vibe from him... He couldn't be more correct.
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best friend, co-worker, crush, immature, moved in, text, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): I gave him a simple birthday gift like everyone else. True, but for now everyone seems to have distanced from him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): I attended his birthday dinner because I felt obligated to. Probably wasn't the right choice. But also because all our mutual friends were there and I figured it would be fun like a regular hangout. Which it was, until he went bezerk. He even smashed the gift (mug) I gave him in the parking lot, and apparently returned to collect all the pieces and glue it back up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): Why did you go to his birthday dinner then? Not doing a good job of trying to "ignore" him!
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