A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My BF had met a woman 5 years ago over seas (before me) and kept in touch. When we met he mentioned that he slept with her and they had sent some intense emails about him moving there etc. Well now he's with me and she emailed him asking to visit the US this summer to see both him and another friend and asked him to fill out her paperwork for a Visa. I knew they kept in contact and that it had been, or so I thought, minimal but now he's lying to me. He said he was fillign it out for her so she could see her other friend but she didnt' ask to see him. I saw her note so I know she specially asked to see him so he lied. I also know he called her twice yesterday and spoke to her but he said he hadn't tried callign her since before the holidays. He did call her last month and he did call her yesterday so he lied again. I could tell he was lying and I already knew the truth so I confronted him and he admitted it. He said he knows how I "get" with other woman he keeps in touch with and didn't want to start a fight but they are just friends now. Well, my question is, if they are just friends, why the lies? Was it so I wouldnt' get upset or was it because he's hiding something? Why is he still calling her overseas and trying to help her get here in the first place if he's involved with me now? I feel i should be upset. He also kept all her message for the past 5 years as well as all her photos but again, lied about the context of the message. They were clearly romantic and he says they were just "hi, how are you" type of messages. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): the lies has to stop.why is he still keeping her photo ( i can understand that) but also her texts. as a momento/ good reminder of what he once had? you know he is going to try to jump her when she gets off that plane, just for old times sake? "He said he knows how I "get" with other woman he keeps in touch with and didn't want to start a fight but they are just friends now" he is basically telling you you ae controlling and jealous. you know he is not going to change his ways so you have 2 or maybe 3 options:1. leave him so that he carries on his friendship in peace2. tolerate his friendship, and be miserable with him.3. get your own speacial friend, (i hear the on line ones are the way to go)text, call, romanticise,flirt, basically everything he is doing. then you won't be perceived as clingy/jealous/controlling. you will be having the time of your life and couldn't give a shit who he gets with. (this is a dangerous option) all in the name of so called friendship. if you read posts here you will note how "toxic" some friendships can be to a committed relationship.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 June 2009):
 He is intent on screwing her when she lands at the airport. He is a liar, plain and simple. What more proof do you need?
The curb....find the nearest one and dump this asshole off at it. and don't look back.
...............................
|
