A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:been with my man for almost a year, when i first met him we had a one night stand together (at that time i didn't know i had chlamydia) after i found out i had chlamydia and i went and got treated for it.a few months later me and him started going out together and we have been for almost a year now, now i have only just realised that maybe he could of passed back chlamydia to me from when we had a one night stand together(because i might of gave it to him when i didn't know i had it)...i have done the test im just waiting for the results, im really nervouse because if it does come back positive how am i going to tell him?he might think i have been cheating, when infact it was him that passed it to me because i might of passed it to him when i had it. if it does come back postive what am i meant to say to him, i dont want him to think i have cheated, i would never do that because i love him. he is my second sexual partner, the reason i got chlamydia in the first place was from my ex who slept around...if i am positive, what should i say to him? he might think im some slapper because i have it when thats not me at all. he loves me very much i just dont want to lose him... what should i do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 April 2010):
You have to tell him straight. And though I understand the point below that you should go on the offensive and try to make it seem like it was him, don't do it. Because he hasn't cheated, and he knows it. You accuse him of cheating when he knows he hasn't, and he will know about it and know that something is very wrong very quickly. Men aren't stupid. Be honest.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 I would tell him be honest and take your previous medical record from when you got treated the first time, the days should match to what you tell him and I doubt he will accuse you of cheating. He has to know so he can get himself check.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): I am putting myself in your shoes. If I were you I would start telling him that I suspect him of cheating. Make a big deal about it. Then I would bring up the symptoms and accuse him of infecting me with something. When we go for a test together and are found positive for Chlamydia, I would make a big deal about the fact that I've only had two sexual partners, how could you do this to me? Rant and rave for a few days then forgive him miraculously and give him one more chance. Why should you take the blame when it could be him? To the grave, darling.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2010):
 http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chlamydia/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Hi, you must be very worried. You could bring him along to your appointment or have him read the link above to become educated on how it's transmitted. I'm afraid you do have to tell him and have him tested, because he may have a hidden infection. It's not the end of the world, it's not a judgment on you, it's a very common STI and it is spread without people knowing. If he doesn't believe that you haven't cheated on him, even faced with medical explanation for this, well, then he has other issues.
You raise a good point in that he might have been the initial source of the infection in you. I think you both need to sit down with the doctor or nurse and have things explained to you both so that he understands how this happens.
Good luck, and be brave. It's not the end of the world, but you do need to take care of it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): be honest i would say - just sit him down and ask him to listen to you without interrupting for five minutes and tell him the whole story. Though he may get mad that you potentially may have given him chlamydia and not told him before.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (1 April 2010):
 You should tell him strait, exactly how you have explained it here. If he is at risk then he has that right to know.
Guys appreciate honesty more, he may think the worst but if he loves you he will get over that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): My only experience was from a rape where I contracted chlamydia. I didn't report it, and in turn didn't have an std test. I then passed it to my boyfriend, unknowlingly. I felt as dirty as if I had cheated, but I knew that I had no choice. I was just painfully honest.
In this situation I would be honest too. Tell him the long (awkward) story, and don't let him forget that you love him. He will know you do because if you didn't you may not have even told him in the first place. Thats all you can do. be assertive and clear.
he may also need to talk to any sexual partners between your hook up and relationship, because any woman he slept with may have it too.
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