A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy I met last year in April. And after we met, he asked me out a few times but I said no for 2 main reasons ; because I was still getting over my ex- boyfriend , and because I knew the guy was a bit of a flirt. But I wasn't nasty or anything. And some months later, we had a Christmas party and when he saw my friends, he said hi to the others, but when I came over, he ignored me and focused on his blackberry. I thought it was weird, but by the end of the night we were joking so I thought we were cool. So some time later I invited him over to my house and he said ok, but it was getting late and he still hadn't come so I called him back and asked him if he was coming and he said he couldn't come any more since he wasn't feeling well. (I am aware that saying you are ill is a classic cop - out excuse, but he may really have been sick so I dunno). Well, I thought it was really weird, so I waited a bit and asked him if I could come over to his house and he said yeah, that it was cool and he would let me know when I could come over. But he didn't. It's his house and he can invite whoever he likes, but I just thought it was really rude for him not to at least call back. I wasn't asking for an explanation or anything, cos I know he doesn't have to explain why I can't come to his house. It just felt weird, I guess. Anyway the really strange thing was that I saw him in Tesco a few weeks ago. And he saw me as well, but he didn't say anything. And for the last few weeks, whenever he sees me, he just ignores me.In case you're wondering why I'm so worried about a random guy, the truth is that I really liked him but I just can't go out with anyone right now, so I'm wondering if I did something wrong and what to do? Do I just say hi to him, or let it go? Am I wrong for thinking he is deliberately ignoring me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Stay well away from this guy, - he has a fragile ego and is, by his behaviour, trying to meet out punishment on you because you didn't jump immediately to his initial overtures (this is also part of the flirtatious personality, - shallow, transitory engagement). You've inadvertently dented his (fragile, remember) ego. He doesn't have a very healthy personality. Do NOT think that by being super nice (accommodating) to him, you'll 'win him back' and eventually change him. You will not! Stay away. Find a guy who's reasonable and balanced, unless you're up for a bit of abuse. Take care, - look after yourself, - and stick with those who treat you right! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Anonymous ; No I'm not playing any games! I just thought of him as a friend, thats all. I thought we would at least still talk, but oh well.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (2 March 2011):
 He may or may not be deliberatly ignoring you, but I think you should stop trying to get in touch with him. He does not appear to be interested.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (2 March 2011):
yes it does sound like he's ignoring you. it could be that he was hurt when you had rejected his advances previously and thus now he's relishing that the tables are being turned (an ego thing). Or maybe he's just inconsiderate in general. Or maybe he's not interested in you anymore (maybe he's got a girlfriend by now) and doesn't know how else to convey it except to ignore you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): If you can't go out with anyone right now, why are you chasing after him? That sounds like a game you are playing and he probably does not want to be led on again. I'd leave him be.
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