A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello dearcupid community I need your help. I started hanging out with these girls After a while of hanging out I started getting feelings for this one girl, and she knew I like her, the catch is she has a boyfriend, so I couldn't get with her because I guess she loved her boyfriend. So I moved on and started liking this other girl and have been trying to make moves on her. I'm still friends with the other girls, and the one who I originally liked. So I was sitting around with them, and I told them that I really have a thing for this new girl and was trying to get advice from them on how to approach her. However, the girl I originally liked who has a boyfriend started acting weird and actually started crying. I couldn't figure out why. One of her friends came up to me and said, that while she was crying she asked her, "why does he talk about the other girl he like so much when he likes me?". This kinda has me pissed off a little, because what the hell? I was open with her earlier that I liked her, however she chose to stay with her boyfriend. I'm no backup, i'm going to move on with my life and I did by trying to go after another girl, as I felt it would hurt to just hang around and want a girl that I probably could never get since she is taken. I feel like the bad guy for making her cry, but I don't get it? If she likes me so much why the hell didn't she go for me when she had the chance? Does she think I'm her backup plan? Cause that kinda pisses me off. What do you think I should do? I'm friends with this girl, and still do have feelings for her and don't like seeing her sad.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 June 2012):
 Don't feel like a bad guy. She could be emotional because she is having problems in her relationship already and she didn't know whether to stay or leave. You are not the bad guy. It's just that when a man leaves one woman for another, it triggers the primal abandonment pain. She does not belong to you yet feelings are irrational. Her emotions are hers to deal with alone. If she likes she can talk to her female friends about it but you stay out of this. Don't take it personally either. Whatever she says is no indication of your value. I am sure her friends would be able to answer that question she asked.
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