A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im talking to this one boy at my school and we've liked each other for awhile now. He tells me im beautiful and that he want to be with me. He calls me babe and bae. He told me he wanted to kiss me but i said im not ready for that. that i need some time. He told me he won't rush me into things and when i say no then no is he answer. I told him that im not ready to kiss him it would have to be a few months before we would. But i feel like if i wait to long he'll leave and if i jump right into things then it won't be worth it. i already told him that we are not having sex or anything to do with that and he's okay with it. Im just worried he might leave or he won't want to talk to me. Help please!? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): I also wanted to say, that contrary to what people say. Guys are not always after one thing. When they really like a girl, they want a relationship too. We want to be in love. So if you show him you do care, and he can sense that, then he won't care if he has to wait.
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 December 2012):
 In principle, I fully agree with being allowed to set boundaries and a good guy being able to respect them, and that's true. If a guy was looking for sex or groping or for you to perform oral on him or whatever, I'd say that if he were to leave over your discomfort at being sexual with him in these capacities, then he's not the kind of guy you want anyways, as he wasn't interested in you in the first place.
However, kissing has many more meanings than just a preliminary to sex. Kissing is a language all to itself, and a way of expressing feelings, bonding, getting close in an emotional as well as a physical way. Kissing doesn't always lead or must lead to sex.
I wouldn't condemn a guy for leaving if a girl didn't want to kiss him. If a guy were to go out with me and not want to kiss me for months, I'd question why he was with me in the first place. I'd wonder if he were with me to make another girl jealous, or whether it was an act until someone he really liked came along.
If you don't want to kiss him, that's your right. However, I'd do everything in my power to show him the kind of affection that you ARE comfortable with, physical or otherwise. Putting a restriction on kissing can cause the most noble-minded of guys to consider being with someone else where kissing/holding hands/hugging was a cherished form of expression and affection. You do take a risk here, and I can't condemn him for leaving. I could if he bailed because you wouldn't give him sexual favors or let him feel you up, but kissing isn't quite the same thing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): If the only way to keep someone is to do what they want even when you don't want to, then they ain't worth keeping.
That doesn't mean you never should do anything for someone else to please them but it should be because you want to please them, not because they demand it.
Proceed at your own pace, what you are comfortable with. The right person will respect that even if they might wish to move at a different pace. If he is the right one, together you will find out what is right for the both of you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): So long as you are honest with him and don't date other guys, then he should be ok with waiting. Some times us guys think if a girl is holding out on us, it's because they are not really into us. So if you can communicate that, then you should be fine. Remember actions speak louder than words tho.
Hope this helps. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): I don't think you should worry about that. You thought about what you wanted and decided that it was not to kiss yet. If he cannot live with that, then he will leave but you will have stayed true to yourself. That is the important part. And if he does leave, don't worry, you'll find someone who loves you like you are and that is ok with your boundaries.
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