A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello all! I have bit of a problem, and was wondering if anyone had any advice. You see, I'm going out with someone, my first boyfriend, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling anything. We've been going out for about 6 months but known each other for 2 years. We're also in a long distance relationship, only seeing each other two or three times in 10 weeks, then meeting up alot during the holidays (as we're both at uni). We haven't had sex yet; we both don't feel ready for it, but should we? I know many people who practically jump into a relationship at the deep end because they love each other. If we don't feel ready for sex does it mean we don't love each other? I don't get a funny feeling in my stomach when I'm with him (you're supposed to aren't you?), I feel content though - is that right? What am I supposed to be feeling? How can you tell if you're in love or not? Should you feel sure that you're in love or unsure?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (31 January 2007):
 No. If you're in a long distance relationship then even though youve been together 6 months, when you count up the number of days you've actually been together it'll work out as way less than that. Maybe if you lived close by and saw each other all the time I'd be starting to question your attraction but the long distance thing makes that irrelevant. You don't say if you're referring to first time sex ever or just first time with him. If it's the former then maybe it's just a case of not being ready in general.
CD
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 January 2007):
 I don't think you're in love with him, I think you have a great friendship with him and are very fond of him but it's definitely not love. Let me define love for you...
If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
Now you tell me... DO you love him?
Eve
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