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female
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*ng
writes: I'm having problems with my husband. He is texting some woman at work. I have spoken to him about it and he insists that there is nothing going on and I have spoken to her briefly. But I can't stop checking his phone and see some off the messages. Most of the messages are innocent enough, but some I feel are inapproriate. He insists that he is not attracted to this women and it's just a bit of fun! We keep arguing and are going round in circles. Any advice would be helpful
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2005): my parnter was doing the same thing not that long ago. He was texting a female from work the only thing was he saved her name as a mans name in his phone so i wouldnt be suspicous, but i was, i read a text off her saying to him "you looked really sexy in that shirt today" i confronted my partner and demanded to know who it was! he said it was a male who fancied him at work, i said to him okay then prove it, i had the phone in my hand and rang the number and threw the phone at him, he canceled the call and he broke down crying and told me the truth from begining to end, he swore down on our childs life that he hadnt done anything with her apart from texting. i said if you want to be with me you shouldn't feel the need to text other women, which is true, i am not a jealous person but i refuse to let a man walk over me, not matter how much you love you partner dont let him treat you like dirt. i asked my partner does he want to be with me, he said yes he does and i said to him (as harsh as it may be) find a new job i dont want to work with her anymore! he did and now we couldnt be happier i can trust him 100% and he knows im not affraid to stand my ground! but when it all happened i admit i was afraid to loose him, i didnt let him see that. also if he would have told me the truth from the begining he has a female friend at work who he talks to i wouldnt have been the least bit bothered but he didnt! you should do the same, you should tell your partner if he doesnt want you there are plenty of nice men who wants a woman like you. dont let him think he has control of you, if he truly loves you he will stop. i hope you find your way through this i hope you get what you want! Goodluck x
A
reader, pops +, writes (20 September 2005):
Do you flirt with your husband? Do you send him cards, and flowers at work, telling him how much you miss him each day, and long to see him when he comes home? Do you surprise him with a bath before dinner some nites, and climb into the tub with him? If not, you have a hint as to why he is flirting with this woman. She is allowing him to keep his self image that he is attractive to women. He's not getting that message from his wife. You aren't fun anymore, if you ever were. Crank you efforts in this relationship up a notch, lady, and you won't have to worry about anyone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): I have just gone through the same thing with my partner. Most of the texts were innocent but some were not. I got very upset with him and laid down the law. I told him that I was unhappy about it and that it has to stop. I asked him how he would feel if I was doing it and he said he wouldn't like it. He has now stopped. You need to talk to him and tell him that it makes you very unhappy. Make him see that it is inappropriate. If he wants fun then you two can go and do something fun! After this my partner and I have started our own texting game and we love it!
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