A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello i have a quick question, iv been on and off talking to a guy while going through a difficult time trying to decide whether or not to just let my relationship go or patch things up. this new boy knows this and trys to tell me to let it go for a while and be single. he also lets on like he would like to date in the future. we talk pretty often and i enjoy it. im beginning to kind of like this boy, but there are a few downsides. firstly he talks to quite a few other girls, even though he says there just friends and he wouldnt date them. next we were talking a few nights ago and he asks if we could be friends with benefits! i was so appalled. how should i take this question? and by the way i did say no i wouldnt feel right and he said that was fine. if im someone he would consider dating in the future why would he want to do that? any ideas? thanks in advance!
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (22 December 2010):
As a man, my opinion is that this guy is nothing more than a player trying to talk you into bed. When he expressed interest in "dating" you in the future, I don't think he meant it as anything more than casually dating, as in a way to sleep with you. I think it is pretty clear from his suggestion of starting up a FWB relationship that sex is his primary interest in you, and it is also likely that he's playing the other girls he chats to as well.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 This guy wants a test ride with you for free. Thats basically it. And yeah right, I can promise you he's giving the same line to the other girls he's chatting with, if he's not already banging them.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 He is spinning you a line while you are in an emotionally vulnerable position of relationship breakdown. I think he doesn't want to date you in the future, but just thinks that promise will get you into bed right now. He has made it clear that he has a sexual interest in you, but he does not wish to commit whole-heartedly. He is young and playing the field. You have identified him for what he is. He is right that being single isn't so bad if you are in a miserable relationship. However, it doesn't mean you have to latch onto him as the first man to come along. Good luck!
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