A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have a good relationship, however when we first began dating he mentioned he smoked, i wasn't too happy about it (you might think i'm weird) but i don't like smokers, i hate cigarrets, the smell gets to me real bad that i feel like i'm suffacating inside and can't breath, i start to heat up and get all warm. and it isn't a good experience. You all might think everyone faces smokers and many don't like them, but you live with it. and that alot of people smoke in public places and you walk pass them and that. with people on the streets, public places you can kind of avoid them, and you can walk pass quickly or another way or someting, and your not with them 24 7 but with my boyfriend i'm practically with him most of the time. so i can't exactly avoid him, it's rude. but with me it's like when i was young no one from my family smoked, no one from my cousins did either, if they did they where most likely far relatives whom we hardely ever saw. when i was in college, i have friends who smoke, either they smoke hardly ever, or constantly. But they're all aware of how i feel and smoke when i'm not around, like if i'm with them and they want to smoke they let me know and go outside or i'll ust leave and say se you later. I discussed it with my boyfriend, how i feel, he said he totaly understands and that he won't smoke around me, but the problem is, after he smokes he returns with the smell which isn't pleasing. He might want to kiss me or somthing and the smell don't help. I feel sick when he comes close and like wants to kiss or whatever. And i may come across a lilttle rejecting towards him but i generally don't mean it in that way, it's just i don't want to liplock when i can smell cigarretes in his breath. And i don't want to fake it to him, acting normal when really i'm suffacting. I don't know what to do, i'm with him practically most of the time, and atleast twice a day he smokes so he comes back with the smell. he's everthing i wanted in a guy except the smoking. please any help would do. i feel like asking him to give up smoking, and if heloves me that much he should be able to,(our relationship is getting serious thats the only reason i was thinking of asking him to stop smoking) but then when i thinking about it in another perspective i feel i'm being selfish and asking for too much from him, and that i should live with it if i love him. It's confusing what to do!the fact is, it's not only about me, it that our relationship is getting serious and i don't want to see him killing himself by smoking cigarrets. and than passing it on to me, -passive smoking. P.S. no offence to smokers, have nothing against you. (AGE 21)if i'm getting into a serious relationship i don't want cigarretes to be part of it.Thanks, any help will do, tell me if i need to live with it or if i'm right to ask him to quit, or anyway to avoid the smelly breath.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 August 2009):
My husband smoked when I first met him.
I was upfront by saying that he stank and I didn't want him to be around me when he had been smoking.
I said that smoking was his choice and he could do it if he wanted, but he shouldn't expect to kiss me after he does it.
Luckily he decided to give up and so I helped by giving him lots of kisses and things to do with his hands ;oP
If you had bad breath then he would expect you to get it sorted. So just tell him. "Urgh, you smell, your breath stinks." and don't go near him when he has been smoking.
He'll soon cut down when he realises how much more love he gets when he smells nice.
Why should you put up with something so unattractive as a horrible smell and horrible breath?
Good Luck!! xx
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