A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I apologise if I have posted this one already as I tried a couple of forums to get a little advice as I'm a bit shy to ask my friends. So me and a female friend have started having sex. We talked about it long and hard before trying it for the first time, and to be honest, it feels right. It hasn't been awkward afterwards and our friendship is great. We had sex in her bed recently and she pointed something out that I (apparently) do. I tend to slither down a lot and kiss a girl's stomach. It's just something I've always done. I did it to her and she said 'oh yeah, when you kiss my belly.... i don't think anyone's ever done that before'. It worried me a little because I wasn't sure if she was dropping the hint that I was becoming too affectionate for a casual thing. Also I wasn't sure if she was politely saying 'can we get to the main bit, please?' Then again it sounded like she just pointed something out that was quite sexy that no one had really done much before. If I was doing something really annoying or inappropriate, would she have made it more obvious?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2017): It seems that you spent a lot of time talking with her before you started indulging, but now that you have a question, you’re not talking to her about it? Why? As all the females have said, communication is important. If she is a worthy friend, I do not think she will think less of you if you ask an honest question. But you have a question, and it bothers you a bit. A possible way to handle it would be to re-open those early talks by asking her the question, “As we agreed to keep this as a casual relationship, is there anything that you think is not appropriate for us to do when we are having sex?” You don’t have to mention the belly kiss; see what answer she comes back with. She might say, “Anything goes.” If she says, “Why do you ask”, you can honestly answer, “I don’t want to do anything that you think is not appropriate for casual sex.” And you should go further and tell her if there is anything that you think is not appropriate.Let’s get back to her belly though. I’ll bet you any amount of money that she loved it! And I’d take her at her word – no lover had kissed her belly before. She was communicating with you. She was revealing something about herself – and it was her invitation for you to do likewise – lovers slowly learn things about each other. You could have said, “I love doing it, may I do it some more?”, or, “Where else would you like me to kiss?”, or, “You can kiss me there anytime!” You get the picture. Have fun, use your imagination. Good luck.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 September 2017):
 First, let me say how I am always half amused, half amazed by all the " rules " that you young people seem to have about FWB. It's like there's a rigid sexual etiquette code, going by which you can do only do certain things with a regular partner , certain others with an FWB. Like : spooning= GF, banging hard = FWB. Kissing forehead = GF, kissing nipples = FWB. We get so many letters from girls who say " He said we are just having some fun... but he called me " Baby " , or he hug me tight during sex.... then he must have feelings for me, right ? "
WTF ? People are people, with a huge range of everchanging emotions and sensations to express, and sex is ALSO a mean of communication of what you feel in the moment. It's not that if you are FWB then it has to be all about genital stimulation and animal screams- it can include moment of tenderness , of playfulness, of sweetness. Whatever comes up spontaneously. If when people f..k they always have to mind their p's and q's, like " uh-oh : I kissed her belly- big mistake, that may be too intimate for FWB " then frankly I wonder what they even bother having sex for, it must be as exciting and liberating as watching paint dry.
Anyway ; no I don't think she was annoyed, I think you can take it at face value, she was just commenting on a new thing . But , just to be on the safe side, you can always ask, can't you ? " Do you like when I do X ? " Or, " I like doing X, but if that bothers you, tell me, by all means ". You need to communicate to make sure that both parties are satusfied. And if you are friends enough that you can insert your penis in her vagina, surely you can also ask her " May I kiss your belly ? " or " Is it a problem when I do X ? " !
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 September 2017):
 I think she was just making an observation. She may or may not have liked it, or she doesn't know if she likes it or not, as you didn't mention whether or not you do that a lot during a session.
The best thing for you to do is to ask her, maybe over a quiet glass of wine and a smile, whether she likes it when you do it. She'll say yes, no, or "I don't know". Sometimes, we don't know if we like something until we experience it! Friends should be able to talk to each other!
Since we're on the subject, let me give you a hint that might give you a bit of an edge in sexual adventure or experience:
While it's good to use tricks that you've "always done", since it *is* important to you that she likes what you do, you might want to take some cues from her. Oftentimes, a partner will do to you what turns THEM on rather than what they think turns YOU on. Example -- I bet you'd love it if her kisses traveled downward on you, no? But what if she caresses your neck when you kiss her, or skims her fingers along your nipples and chest hair as you are together. TAKE THE CUE! She may *love* those things done to herself. Read what gives her pleasure before trying moves that are comfortable for you merely because that's what you've done.
Sex is a dance, and you can either re-trace the old standbys and hope your partner fits to like what you do, OR you can improvise, embellish, add scales and arpeggios to your technique while reading her response in her eyes, lips, body, and sigh.
But communicate!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 August 2017):
 I think you are worrying over nothing here, it does sound like she was simply just saying it has never been done before. If you are worried be more vocal and ask her what she does like and if their is anything that she doesn't like. If you are comfortable enough to have sex with each other then you both should be able to communicate about it as well.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2017):
 Oh, she wasn't annoyed or thinking you being inappropriate for an FWB.
Now if you take a LONG time focusing on her belly, she might have hinted that it's really nice but move along...
And the "I don't think anyone has ever done that" means JUST that. Something new.
HOWEVER, with all that said... most young women your age DO NOT tell their partner if the partner is doing something they don't enjoy. Why? Well, because 1. they are inexperienced or 2. they don't want the guy to shut down. or 3. they don't want the guy to think they are "sluts" who have done it all.
My guess is though, that if she HADN'T enjoyed it, she wouldn't have said anything or she would have tried to "guide" you to the "main event"...
So no need to worry about it.
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