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female
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anonymous
writes: I am newly single and am in my forties. I am not ready for another relationship and want to have fun for a bit. I would like the hit the bars but have no one to go with. Must of my friends are married and are in relationships. Do guys draw conclusions if a woman walks into a bar by herself? I am not looking for a pickup....just to meet new people and to be a bit frivolous for a change. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Pammie73 +, writes (20 August 2006):
Hello,Have you thought of joining an online dating/friends website? This is a good way to meet people who have similar interests to yourself, and you can be very specific about what you are looking for (e.g. just fun, dating, relationship, friendship, hobby partner)....I have lots of friends who have used this method to increase social circles, which do help.Also, like already advised, joining a gym, club, evening classes are great ways to meet people.Probably more fun than going to a bar alone and being chatted up by the sleaziest guys around!! Best of luck,P xx
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (20 August 2006):
 I'd suggest that there are much better venues to meet new people than bars. Not only will plenty of people draw conclusions about you if they see you alone in a bar, but the majority of people you meet will probably not be what you are lookingfor.
Instead, think about the kind of people you'd like to meet, think about where they might hang out, and then make plans that involve going there. I mean stuff like joining classes, clubs, groups, societies, and so on.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (19 August 2006):
 I think it is ok for a woman in 2006 to go and sit in a bar alone. But you may not be approached because it maybe perceived that you are waiting for someone. I also think you have to be careful about your choice of venue - you just need to check out the reputation of places not to end up in some lounge lizard bar being pawed by sleezy guys in plastic jackets. If you are feeling lonely then the gym, clubs etc maybe a better place to meet people.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): Its hard to start creating a social life from scratch after a break up. Start off by joining some local clubs - coffee mornings, walking clubs, gym classes or enrol in some night or weekend classes - places where other single women would socialise in groups. You will then find people to go out with and not worry about going to bars yourself.
Chances are if you walk in a bar and sit yourself, a guy will approach you because you are not with anyone. In answering your question guys probably would draw the conclusion that you would want to be picked up.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): But most of the time, say 99.9% of the time, I could care less whether she is by herself or with friends.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): This question is quite irrelevant because different people will always have different opinions of every one else. You walk in, some people will think you're a slut. Some people will think you're just someone. Some people will think you're cool. Some people will totally ignore you.
In the end, it doesn't matter what other people think. Ultimately, it's about how you think about yourself.
For me, if I see a woman walk into a bar by herself, I will never give a generalized idea of the type of person she is. I will look at her, and form my own idea of her on an individual basis.
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