A
female
age
36-40,
*teph29
writes:Hi i am 19 i have been in this relationship for 3.5 years. I have a little girl who is 2. Kevin is very manipulating and controling. He gets angry and shouts at me right in my face calls me names says he wishes i was dead. I want to end it so i can be happy but i always make excuses. Also when i say to Kevin it is over he will smash up my house and then blame me, I am getting really low over it. All i want for me and my daughter is for us to be happy. Kevin has no where else to stay if i kick him out. I think thats probably why i always give in to him PLEASE PLEASE GET BACK TO ME Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (9 May 2007):
Ok, I'm a Brit too. Married a Geordie spent 11 years with him and have a 6 year with him. I HAD the same situation with him. This is abusive behaviour to both yourself and your child and don't tell me he hasn't done it in front of her/her.
Single parent-hood is really fucking tough but I know I never say M is controlling me, goes mad, does this...I realised that as hard as it would be to be alone, loose some mutual friends it was more important to me to know my child knew how to treat and respect people. My ex had no where else to stay and I told him he had two-weeks to find a place. I had him begging on his knees, flowers the whole nine yards and I stood firm. I knew I was more important as me and my child that, being me, him and her. Tell him he has to find somewhere by X date, go to a lawyer/legal aid and start drawing up some papers. You do not need to feel the way I did, I have never had ANY regrets, despite no food, social life or being the family nucleus. You can do this. I can and am.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (7 May 2007):
 I think you need to talk to your family and friends quite urgently. Create a network of support around you and your daughter, people who will be there for you and protect you from him. Then I think you need to tell him in no uncertain terms its over, with somebody else there for protection if necessary.
This is not a healthy enviroment for you or your daughter and it could well lead to serious problems for you both in your future. He is potentially very dangerous and he needs help himself to deal with his issues. Ultimately by making him confront them you are doing him a favour although he obviously wont see it that way. However, that can't be your concern. Your concern has to be for you and your child.
If necessary then you have to be prepared to involve the relevant authorities. Hope that helps and please take care :).
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