A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met my girlfriend about two months after she broke up with her ex. In the beginning she was protective of him whenever I said something about him. It was then because I thought she just broke up with him and it might take some time for her to get over him.Now we have been two years together, and she talks about engagement and getting married but still if I ever say anything bad about him she will jump. It's ok for her to protect him I guess but not only she protects him but she starts calling me names, swearing at me or whatever she can. On the other hand if she ever talks anything bad about my ex i never try to protect my ex.I should also mention that ever since I broke up with my ex i have never been in contact with her whereas my girlfriend has been in contact with her ex. I am just wondering what do u think? Am in the wrong relationship? Even if I call her ex a jerk should she protect her and call me a jerk?I would never give her up for anyone else especially for an ex.Thank You
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): It doesn't necessarily mean that she still has romantic feelings for him. It could be that they went through a lot together. Or maybe she still cares about him. Just because you break up with somebody, it doesn't mean that you automatically stop caring about them.
But I agree that she shouldn't start shouting and swearing at you. That does seem a bit extreme to me! It sounds like she is serious about you though, if she is talking about getting married. So if you have no reason to suspect there is anything more than friendship between her and her ex, then maybe it might be best if you just tried not to talk about him, and try to avoid calling him names. Even if she bad-mouths your exes, try not to get drawn into it. After all, is it worth it?
But if you are having suspicions about how she feels about her ex, then I think it would be best to talk to her, and find out how she feels about him. Otherwise, you will probably keep worrying about it. So talk to her if you are concerned. Good luck. x
A
male
reader, Elliiott  +, writes (4 August 2009):
 Looks like she still has feelings for him ..
She shouldn't start swearing and calling you names.
Maybe you could speak to her about it all About why she protects him ?
Otherwise, I think the best thing you can do is let her go.
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