A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:real confused. i am 18, for the past 3 years was crazy about this guy...lets call him gary*. when i turned 18, i got with my current boyfried, steve*.. i never thought about steve in a "more than friends" was cause we had only been friends a year, and i was well head over heals about gary. gary and steve are both 26.gary and i are extremely close firends. i know i can rely on him for anything because he has always been there for me, but when i started seeing steve (7 months ago) , gary told me he loved me a lot because i was always there for him and he kissed me. yeah so i cheated on steve about 3 months into the relationship by kissing gary.anyways, gary is just like me in personality, and he knows more about me than most, we are like kindred spirits, however, steve is great.hes always treating me real well, hes stable emotionally unlike gary, who gets very depressive in a way.. i am far more attracted to being with gary but itd ruin everything, but should i jsut stay with steve for the sake of it? i love him, and he is in love with me, and i know if i was with gary insted of steve then i would not be able to trust gary because he would probbaly get into bed with the first beautiful women he meets. im not THAT attractive and dont think id hold his interest and perhaps lose this amazing friendship..i put gary out of my mind for the past few months and focused on stuff with steve, sadly, for the past two days steve hasnt been replying to my text messages.. and a good friend of mine, *Mary, told me she likes gary and wants to make a move on him.i felt like hitting her and stay "STAY AWAY!"..heres the predicament in a nutshell.i love them both..maybe two different loves but i cant decide who i wanna be with?i dont wanna lose gary as a friendbuti know i will regret it if i dont try it with himand i dont wanna lose steve as a friend because he has been the best boyfriend i have ever had and im in love with him, but i will regret it if we end it here, because its going real well...should i just shut gary out??please please help
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): Hi...
I am in the same predictament. I have been with my partner for 4 years but I'm madly in love with his friend. His friend feels the same but my partner and I have a 2 year old daughter which makes it more difficult. If I didn't have my daughter I would have left my partner for his friend months ago i think. The love has gone on my part but I read that you love them both but in different ways.It all depends who you think about more, do you go to bed thinking about Steve or Gary? It's a difficult choice but you're only 18 you have plenty of time to 'settle' down. How about being single but spending time with them both over a period of a few months/a year to see who you connect with better?
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