A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for 6 months and we broke up 1.5 years ago. But for the past 6 months I think about him all the time. Every day I dream about what it would be like if we could start over. Our relationship was long distance. I was a freshman at the time and he's 4 years older. Now I've earned a lot of money for my part time job and he's working full time. I know it's useless thinking but I really wish we could start over. Last year I had a summer internship where he lived. I'd started dating someone before the internship and continued my relationship throughout. At the time I didn't have feelings for him although I could tell he was hurt. I met up with him a few times. Oddly though I felt nothing. He was just a good friend. But as soon as I arrived home I regretted starting a new relationship and missed him a lot. It doesn't make sense. I still miss him and think about him every day. I know he's dating someone new now and it saddens me. My biggest fear is him getting married soon as he's 4 years older. What should I do? I'm more attracted to him than any guy I've ever dated/met. If I get the chance to return to his state again, should I try to find out if he still likes me? Is it wrong for me to do so if he has a girlfriend? If he truly loves her then he won't do any wrong toward her. But I think it's fair to find out if he still likes me first. There have been hints from friends. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012): Thank you everyone for your input. The guy I dated throughout my summer internship broke up. The feelings disappeared as soon as I returned. Probably cuz I hadn't moved on from my ex yet. I'll leave my ex alone for now. Perhaps one day I'll see him as a friend again. As for him having a gf now. To be honest I don't care. I'm thinking of me not her. I know it sounds selfish. If he's truly happy with her then I'll leave him be. But if he gives me any hope I think I'll give it a chance. I know I could risk everything including his friendship. But it's either I have him or don't. There's not much to lose. Thank you everyone!
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 Think about it.
You and this man had a long-distance relationship. By their very nature these are not easy to maintain.
You and he broke up. There were problems that cropped up, correct? Otherwise, if everything was cool things would not have ended. Furthermore, unless whatever issues existed then were or could be resolved to your mutual satisfaction, they would only rear their ugly heads again, and result in a second ending. I'm sure you wouldn't want that, would you?
You're indulging in "what might have been." Perhaps you are jealous that he has another girlfriend now; perhaps you can't bear to think that things didn't work out. Be that as it may, the truth is that it DIDN'T work out, and he DOES now have another woman in his life.
Your best bet is to leave well enough alone and not try to get in touch with him. Besides, what about the man you were dating when you had a summer internship? Did that end in disappointment also?
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (28 June 2012):
 I think your opening a can of worms by going back and asking him out; its probably wise to accept he has a new girlfriend and this is over.
Goodluck
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (28 June 2012):
 So when you had the opportunity to get back together with him, you had no feelings for him, then when you want back ho,, suddenly you wanted to be with him? By the time your feelings resurfaced, was he already dating someone else? Because that happens sometimes, you think you're over someone, and then you find out they are moving on with their life, and have someone new. You realize the door is closing, and you need to run catch it before it before it slams shut.
If he has a girlfriend, you need to leave him alone. Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes and think about how you would feel if the ex girlfriend, of a man you were dating, was trying to reconnect, and bring old feelings back to the surface.
Count this one as the one that got away, and let him go.
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