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female
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anonymous
writes: I need advice from people that are actually married or know different girls who sometimes felt like they loved their boyfriends and sometimes didn't but then after awhile that feeling went away and they were in love and were happy because some girl told me i'm only feeling like this for my boyfriend because i'm a teen girl and it's normal. Which many people are telling me this is normal. I don't want to break up with him because i know i will regret it. If i could cry over breaking up with him and regretting it then that means i should be with him but i guess i just need to hear people that are actually married and been there or know a girl who has and is now in love with that guy without having to question herself or sometimes feel like she doesn't love him. Thanks! =) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): Yes it does mean that you love him. I was in a relationship for 5 years on and off. he was my mate he made me laugh, he was a little inflexible, and because he was too stubborn to give anthing difrent a try. I ended the relationship. I couldnt wait for him to devlop anymore. Now do I love him yes always will and did just hoped that the time aprt would develop him but Guess what no he got a girl, and really rubbed my face in it!! So what now I hate myself for killimg the love I had for him. i FEEL THAT THIS is the most important Do u want the same things, are u working towards the same goals and one other thing would you go to a car lot and pick the first car you saw wihout douing any reserach on the make, milega, history so why do it with your relationship, if you suit and fit stay if not move on, its hard and I miss im awfully but he wasnt ever going to be what i wanted did i care for him hell yes, now i miss him but i never denyed that he liked to play games with my love. Love doesnt do that , love im or let im go
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): Hey,
You love the guy. Love does take some time to develop. If you care enough about someone not to hurt them then you do love them. Its a tendency for people to think they are falling out of love because they feel "comfortable" in the relationship.
There is an old saying. You don't know what you have until its gone. Trust it this is true.
If he treats you well. If you have fun with him. If you care about his feelings. Then stay with him.
Your hormones, or your need for adventure are just going to wind up making you miserable because when all is said and done you will regret that you threw away such a great guy.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (24 July 2006):
 Yes you care for him but love can be defined in many different ways, this is just one of them. Its more sympathy than actual "being in love". Because you do care about him and don't want to hurt his feelings but if you feel like its the best thing then so be it. He will hurt but its all apart of growth for both of you. If you stay with him for these reasons than you are cheating him. You will know after a little time has passed if it was the right decision or not. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i love him and i have reasons to believe i do ..i said i'm not IN love ..and i said i didn't want to break up with him because i would regret it ..they did the subject part wrong because that's not what i wanted to know
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2006): You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel bad for dumping someone.
It's not because you are a teenager; any one with
emotions is going to go through some difficult feelings.
They say that being the "dumper" rather than the "dumped" is much harder because you actually have to choose to break it to them, and then stick with your decision no matter how much they beg or cry; a person being dumped, on the other hand, has no choice, they just hear the bad news and then have to get over it.
You're going to feel regretful, bad, depressed and wonder if you made the right choice; these are all normal feelings- it shows that you do care about him (which is a good thing; just because you break up with someone it shouldn't mean you automatically stop caring about them; you don't want to hurt them but you know (at least initially) you are going to hurt them the most.
If you have given this a lot of thought, and you do believe it is for the best, stick to your decision and do the break up the best you can. Try to go about it the right way, be as honest as you can be, and don't confuse him; be very clear about what you want.
After a month or two apart (maybe sooner) I think you will know for absolute certain if you made the right choice. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, staceii12x07 +, writes (24 July 2006):
You are not in love. What really seems to be going on here is the fact that you want to break up with him and your just to afraid to do it. If you are second guessing your feelings then there isnt much of anything to build off of. I suggest that you break up with him and move on. If you some how end up together again then maybe it really is a relationship that has potential to last. If not then you just get out there and flirt with some new boys! ;)
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