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female
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anonymous
writes: i'm a widow of 4yrs. met a man both of us were instantly attracted to each other. We never went on a date or anything just shared alot of conversations. Had alot of fun chatting. we saw each other a few times at my home.he was telling me alot that he wasn't interested in any committments i agreed i'm not ready for anything heavy.we kissed and hugged some it was very nice different though since i had't been with anyone other than my husband in 25 yrs. Then he comes over to my home to see me and apologizes for hugs and kisses.says he liked me and should'nt have done that.(hugs and kisses)i was floored didn't know what to say!Then he tells me just in passing he is dating someone.Why would this guy even bother with me in the first place? I ran into him once since then it's been about a month now.I felt totally humiliated.didn't even know what to say to him.i just don't understand what could have happened.now i can't stop thinking about him.it's the pitts.what could have happened for him to profess liking me so much then just end it like that?how could i have been so stupid as to fall for his crap? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006): Don't be too hard on yourself here, hun. The first indication he was not sincere to you, was the fact he told you he 'didn't want any committments'. Red flag a wavin' there. He had a gf sitting at home..all the while he's trying to charm you?? He is a loser, because the man just wanted some fun on the side, dear. He was just scoping you out..to see how far he could go with you. If you feel humiliated over a few kisses and hugs..can you imagine how much worse it would have been, had you slept with him. A truly loving man is considerate and thoughtful, not self-centered and hurtful, like this fellow. Many men do what this guy did..they say nice words and give hugs. They are simply hoping to fulfill their own needs. What he did had nothing to do with givingness and wanting to begin a relationship. It was all about 'him and his needs, only'. Just be glad he bailed when he did. It could've got worse. You can sit and stew about this or you can say 'to heck with him' and be thankful, you didn't give yourself to someone who didn’t value you, like you deserve. Learn from this and promise yourself better, in the future. Good luck, dear.
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