A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if my male coworker, who's also my friend at work, is interested in me. He always finds a way to touch me, either on my arm, my face, or my leg. He's joked about us getting married a few times, even though he says he's not ready to settle down. But he's ambiguous--sometimes the things he says could be him just being friendly. He'll suggest we hang out, but when I say ok or when, he'll just say something like, whenever. He's really outgoing, but I notice he doesn't flirt with everyone. But he'll tell me about other girls, so that sometimes makes me think he's not interested. But if he is, why hasn't he asked me out yet? We've been working together for about a year.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): This really depends on wether he is touching you in view of others, or in private (secretly)
If you think it is in private, how do you know he doesn't do it to others in private?, If it is in the open he may just be a natural flirt who likes the attention.
Some guys do this to attract women and then when they have done, they move on to another woman (it's all about thrill of the chase )for them.
However, there are some guys who use it to attract someone they are really interested in, but I do agree here that if you have asked "When?" and he was serious about you, I think he would have asked you out by now.
It can be very frustrating to have this happen to you as it leaves you always questioning the situation. Do not allow him to attract you so much that you feel forced to ask him out yourself. You will be hurt if he says it is only his way of being friendly and things will feel awkward for you at work.
They do say that actions speak louder than words, but that is no good for the person on the receiving end if it leaves them confused.
If you like him, be patient, and if he likes you enough he will ask you out properly.
If you get to a point where the touching goes on but with no invite, it will be time to say to him "You are a very touchy feely person is that just your nature?"
You should have an answer.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 July 2010):
 He may not be interested. If he is a very out going person, the whole touchy/feely is part of his personality.
Also, dating on the job... not so smart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Don't date a coworker.
If he were interested to that extent,he would have asked you out, he seems outgoing enough to be able to ask a girl out.
DO NOT ASK HIM OUT! Men like chasing not vice versa.
Him not asking you out shows that he's a bit of a flirt and enjoys flirting with you b/c you are receptive to it. Some of the other females might not be. But, it doesn't mean much more than that because he isn't asking you out.
Read the book "what men want" and "he's just not that into you". Great books on how to approach these situations.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 July 2010):
 He sounds like a bit of a flirt. Maybe he just likes making you smile and thinks you are attractive. You could ask him out yourself, you know, when he suggests hanging out again, name a date and time and see what he says. If he never commits to a time, then you'll know it's just harmless flirtation on his part.
Don't take it too personally if he isn't interested. I know that sounds counterintuitive but it has more to do with him than with you.
It's tricky to date co-workers because the emotional uproars that might occur if things don't work out can affect your job and jeopardize your career. I personally wouldn't recommend dating co-workers. Keep it professional and friendly.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 People flirt all they want, but that doesn't mean they are ready for relationships. Don't get tempted to just suggest a place and time and be there or be squared. He's playing with your impatience. Act as cool as you can be. Just brush his hand away and ignore him.
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