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If he loves me, shouldn't he talk to me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I was in a relationship with a 47 year old man and everything was going well at first. I did things wrong and so did he. There was no cheating at all. I brought past relationships into ours and he did to because our communications with each other was not good. He broke it off with me because he said that our relationship was damaged. I was blamed for everything that went wrong. I admitted to my faults to him, but he won't say what he did wrong. If a man loves you, wont he talk to you? Is he just being a whimp because he's really not a real man or does he not like expressing his feelings even though he's 47 years old.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (22 May 2008):

Laura1318 agony auntIf a man loves you, wont he talk to you?

If he does not talk to you ,

it means that he does not love you anymore.

It is the end .FULL STOP !

If the relationship is damaged and he is not interested to repair it,

then it will have to be binned.

It looks like he cannot win in this tussle.

Whats the point of talking anymore?

The love died and buried. R.I.P!

Call him whatever name you want.

It will not change anything.

Pick up the left overs and start a new life.

If you are meant to be together,

your paths will cross again.

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A female reader, louweez23 United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2008):

louweez23 agony auntAge has nothing to do with it.

A 'real man' doesn't talk about his feelings period.

Unfortunately men are not great at communicating their feelings at any age.

But "men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" byg John Grey and although it over generalises, you'll understand men more.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

But then again as LonelyTwo has pointed out it might not be too late. How damaged is damaged?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

By him saying the relationship is damaged, is probably meaning he has no clue in how to fix it. Is the relationship savalgeable? The way things have gone, probably not. Why? Poor communication! As stated, get the book "men are ...."

Could you explain a little more of: "I brought past relationships into ours and he did to because our communications with each other was not good"?

Once the communication is going nowhere and one partner realizes this, the will exit the door, because they realize neither of you are connecting. He may not beable to express this, but he feels it. If he stuck around and been the man, this only would have continued the bickering between you. Why? Just so one cn feel more right or justified in their opinion? It isn't worth it. Once the damage has been done, it is almost impossible to undo it. At that point, it requires both people to acknowledge and then communicate properly that healing can begin. Problem it seems, we humans are not capable, we have never been trained.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

Your relationship went wrong. You both did things wrong, there was jealousy over past relationships, you said some things that hurt, he said some things that hurt, you think he's a "wimp" and not "real man". He got upset and left.

This is not a battle my dear, it should have been a loving romantic relationship. The relationship went wrong, it finished. He moved on. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (get the book) He wants to forgot about you, forget it all and move on. You want to talk, and talk and talk about it, find out went wrong, admit your faults, get him to admit his own and see whose to blame? Sounds like a competative battle to me and it seems he dosen't want to play.

Men and women's communication styles can differ and neither is better or worse, their just different.

I'm not sure what question your asking me, but no he's not a "wimp", yes he is a "real man", as real as they come. He dose not like expressing his feelings... Some men are like that whether their 7, 27, or 47. It's not a flaw in character, that's just how some men are. You want and need closure, I'm not sure that you can force this man to give this to you, and for that I am truely sorry.

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