A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 20, I had a boyfriend, were still 6 months in the relationship and I've learned to love him... it so happened that one day when we were in his uncle's house, I found something that I was never really sure of..... and it's killing me! I gave him everything. It was then that I found out that he already had a kid to his ex girlfriend which I don't know how to accept the fact.. if it's really true. It was just a slip of the tongue when I heard it from a 10 year old girl, his cousin. I really dont know what to do.In the first place,he knows I can't afford to accept it. I've already confronted him, .he said it's not true and that he doesn't want to lose me but everytime I ask his mom, she just said "my son loves you so much, he doesn't want to lose you, he even told me why he didn't met you early. "In fact that's not what I've asked her that time... I just asked her if her son does have a kid already. Help me know what to do about it... I love him so much... so much... but I don't think I can afford to accept the fact. I feel like I was fooled, why did he not tell me from the start? He knows from the start that I can't really accept a man who already had a kid to other girl, which becomes also the reason why me and my ex broke up... because he told me everything after I confronted him. I'm going crazy... and I think I'm dying thinking about it everyday of my life... I badly need HELP........:(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): The fact that he's denying that he has a child proves he's a bastard. I could NEVER deny my sweet baby girl. He'd rather keep screwing you than admit he has a precious child in his life. He's a selfish liar. He's disrespecting you by lieing and his child by denying him or her. How low is this man you love? You've been dating him 6 months without knowing he has a child.. how involved is he in his child's life? Obviously not very and that is a bad sign. What if you got pregnant with his baby and had nothing to do with that child and denied even having that child? I don't think you need to be worrying if he has a child or not. You need to be evaluating what kind of person he is.
A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 Sit down and chat with him. Ask him why he didn't tell you, and any other things that are going on in your head.
He has a child and that child will always be in his life and if you can't or wont accept that then you shouldn't be with this guy.
What do you mean you cant afford to accept the fact that your guy has a child. Apart from giving your guy the time and space to see his child what has it got to do with you. The child obviously doen't live with him so money from you can't be an issue.
Are you worried about getting hurt? Is that what you mean by you can't afford to accept it. There isn't much you can do if its true hun. If this guy really does have a kid then you accept it or walk away.
Ask your guy to tell the truth. You deserve the truth and he can't hide this child forever.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 August 2007):
 If he has a kid then he has a kid. Nothing you can do about it. If you can't accept the fact then you have to move on and find someone who doesn't have children. What's the big deal?
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (15 August 2007):
 you need to chill how does a child change anything ???
yeah he may be lien and thats a reason to talk to him and get things together or can him stright out the door but even thow he has a child he isnt asking you to play mommy or anything you come off as needing to grow up so take my advise if you think hes lien leave him and move on to a man that doesnt have so many things to hide and acually doesnt have children
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