A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy that lives in the same dorms as me at university. we got talking and he has invited me in a few times. But then he made a move on me. and he also asked me if i would be up for having sex with him. He was clearly just up for some action which i was not! so i said i had to go. He sent me a letter saying how sorry he was and that he just wanted to get to know me. So i saw him again today, and clarified that i wasnt up for anything. He said that we should get to know each other then. He is very attractive, clever and we do get on but im used to being asked out on a date, to the cinema or something. And so far, he has only asked me to come round his house.I'm confused what he wants:if all he wanted was sex, then why is he still talking to me? but if he does really like me then why doesnt he take me out?
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (14 November 2009):
 He still thinks he can get some sex from you.
A guy that wants to date you takes you out on dates. If he doesn't, he's not proper boyfriend material.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): Maybe he DOES want to get to know you but the fact he's moved on you so quickly and asked if you were up for sex could suggest otherwise.
He did send you a letter to apologise though and did say he wanted to get to know you.
Maybe next time when he asks you to come round his you could suggest going out somewhere instead? See what kind of a response you get from him.
See if he starts asking you out on a date etc. See what happens from there. If he keeps trying to make a move on you, ask him what he's doing and that you thought he wanted to get to know you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): You are assuming he had a good upbringing and knows the rules to treating a woman the proper way? He probably grew up totally different and you would be better off to steer clear of him. Then again, he may just be cash poor and unable to buy his own meals, yet alone yours. His mind reading abilities could be sub-par as well and he isn't able to hear you when you are shouting at him in your mind, to take you out. I can't really tell from behind this computer I am sitting at LOL.
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